Trail # 502 – The Hunt for Cryptids and other Mythical Creatures – Cockness Monster, Doofus White BoyPosted August 24th, 2016 by hareraiser
Come travel deep into the murky, stagnant swamps in search of a legendary creature the mythical Monster of Cock Ness. The Monster of Cock Ness was born in a place hotter than hell, South Louisiana in the summer, its Father was a Rougaroo and its Mother a Grunch, its only friend growing up was a Kraken who took it to the great depths to cool off and eat carcasses on the ocean floor. Now, 35 years later it has returned to enjoy the muggy heat of summer and recharge in the decaying, filthy bogs in and around the ancient city of New Orleans.
Adventure is guaranteed, but safety is not. The Search will be led by Captain Doofus of the SS Shitanic on an epic last voodoo voyage before Doofus departs for the blue waters of the Straits of Florida. Join us as we explore and try to capture this and many other majestic cryptids. There are tales that the fabled beast can be lured out with tree fiddy of currency and the sacrifices of Virgins. Your tree fiddy will go towards the swamp people presently affected by torrential rains in the birth marshes of the Legendary Monster of Cock Ness. The Virgins will be tributes to the Monster.
Walkers beware – sirens will haunt your path. They have attracted many sailors to their deaths with their beautiful, melodic voices. Do not be overcome by these devils of the sea.
Be prepared to Tell Tall Tales of these two hashers, Cock Ness and Doofus, at circle. Both of these hashers are already legends in their own shrinking, alcohol drenched, and delusional, craniums. Only because of KW3 do these two not seem egotistical, only because of IME do these two not seem so creepy, and only because of all of you do these two seem intelligent.
If you can donate please bring about $3.50 or whatever you can for the people that got flooded out from the recent storms. Anything beyond the $1 dollar cost of the hash will go towards a charity (charity suggestions welcome) directly helping those affected. Special gifts go to the top donators. It does not have to be exactly $3.50, more or less is acceptable, that’s just about what the Monster of Cock Ness needs. Also bring Virgins, lots of them, we have been short on those lately and the monster, like all hashers and hashes, has an appetite for new meat.
There will be cryptids on trail, one per hasher.
The On-After will be at Casa Doofus, which will have crappy food, alcohol and a COSTUME SALE!
Bring: $1 (no coins), $3.50 suggested donation for flood victims (coins are ok, more is ok, less is also ok) there will be a donation bucket, 6-Pack, whistle, flashlight, VIRGINS!!
Date: Thursday, 25 Aug 2016 – 6:30 Show, 7 pm Go
Theme: The hunt for Cryptids and other mythical creatures, Wear any of the following: Explorer Gear, Sailor Gear (Naughty-cool gear), CockNess and other Monster outfits, or plaid.
Start: Corner of Sycamore St and Audubon St 2200 Audubon St, New Orleans, LA 70125
Hare and Co-Hares: Cock Ness Monster, Doofus White Boy, and mystery hares!!
Beer Hare: Just Janna
Pre-Lube Location: The Boot: 1039 Broadway St, New Orleans, LA 70118
On-After Location: Casa Doofus, on Broadway – Costume Sale! and likely some free shit.
Dog Friendly?: Yes, bring water for them
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear or anything specific needed for trail? The weather’s been sloppy so a change of clothes is a good idea. Minor Shiggy.
Any specific info the pack may need? Capture Cryptids along the way. One per hasher.
Approximate Length of True Trail: (does not include YBFs, Checks etc) Runners trail = 4.0, walkers trail = 2.3
Trail is A to A, A to B, etc: A to A
Awards are next week – Sept 1
Mobile Red Dress Run October 7-9th Rego Here!