Posted October 14th, 2019 by hareraiser
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight, new Erika Pekkari dust ruffles, lye, vinegar
Date: Thursday, Oct 17, 2019
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Hash Fight Club
Start Address: 600 Franklin Ave New
Orleans, LA 70117
Hare & Co-hares: Shitler’s List & Whordini
Beer hare: Robert Paulson (Roman Showers)
Pre-Lube: MiMi’s in the Marigny
On-After: Lost Love Lounge
Dog Friendly: Trail – yes
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? The IKEA nesting instinct
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4ish miles
Trail is A to A
The first rule of Hash (Fight)Club is you don’t talk about Hash (Fight) Club. The second rule of Hash (Fight)Club is you don’t talk about Hash (Fight) Club…
You are not your kennel, you’re not how many patches you have on your happi. You are not the kilt you wear. You’re not the contents of your vessel. You are not your fucking khakis (What’s Warm 👀). You are all drinking, all running Hash of the world.
Celebrating 20 years of Project Mayhem
Posted October 7th, 2019 by hareraiser
We’ve allllllll been there (well half of the population, but let’s not get me started on gender disparities). This week’s theme is a celebration of all those OH SHIT moments in life. Hariettes if you’re too nervous to even joke about it come dressed as plan B, the Taco Bell Fourthmeal, White Rabbit, or just come as Whordini (you’ll probably make circle?).
All interpretations of “late” are accepted. Bonus points if you paint your face.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight
Date: Thursday, October 10, 2019
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: I’m late (oh shit)!
Start Address: St. Joseph’s Cemetery @ the corner of Sixth St. and Loyola Ave., New Orleans, LA 70113
Hare & Co-hares: Tits Don’t Fit, Cockness Monster
Beer hare: Pic of the Liter
Pre-Lube: Verret’s Lounge, 1738 Washington Ave, New Orleans, LA 70113
On-After: Portside Lounge, 3000 Dryades St, New Orleans, LA 70115
(Snowfall themed Happy Hour will be going on until 10pm with scheduled DJs. Tiki Sliders & Chips will be serving food. The event is an official Help New Orleans Homeless donation dropoff, so please bring extra cash if you would like to contribute to the cause.)
Dog Friendly: Yes, keep in mind temperatures are still very hot. Please bring your water bowls and extra water!
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Possibly plan-B, I don’t know your life choices.
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: best case scenario 9 months and 18 more years (~4.5 miles)
Trail is A to A
Posted September 29th, 2019 by hareraiser
Here’s to you, Hashiest Hasher. Whether you joined the Facebook group after your virgin trail, bought a Happi Coat when you earned your first patch, or just really, truly believe that what we need is one more choir practice, this trail is for you. Come decked out in your habbiest finest; we want to see shiggy socks, on-on shorts, Voodoo polos (Toyota can make you a deal if you don’t have one!) and your hash-named dog/cat/pet tree frog. Show off your hasher tattoos, ass to finest ass, cheek to roundest cheek. Solve trail with reckless abandon, whistles blaring, flashlights blazing, neighbors calling the NOPD in your wake. Sure, it’s not a race, but who doesn’t secretly revel in being FRB/FBI? Debate whether a directional is a check. Call people out for tech on trail. Make ’em drink for nerd names. Lead the Circle in singing My-Name-is-Jack-Who-Used-to-Work-in-Chicago-with-Yogi-Bear for 20 minutes. Marry another hasher despite swearing you would never. Tonight, we unapologetically celebrate it all.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight
Date: Thursday, October 3, 2019
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Hail the Hashiest Hasher
Start Address: The park in front of Kingpin (1307 Lyons St. 70115)
Hare & Co-hares: ¿Quesa-did-her? and The Iceman Thumbeth
Beer hare: In Tents to Pee
Pre-Lube: Kingpin (1307 Lyons St. 70115)
On-After: Kingpin (1307 Lyons St. 70115) ; alternate on-after is Creole Creamery (cash only, closes at 10 PM)
Dog Friendly: Yes
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Your head-to-toe finest haberdashery; whistle; flashlight
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: T/E split; Eagle trail is 3.5 miles
Trail is A to A
Posted September 20th, 2019 by hareraiser
Voodoo H3 Trail #680
Thursday, September 26
6:30 pm show/ 7 pm go!
Theme: The DRANK Trail!
I learned to DRANK a Red Snapper, Kamikaze, Long Island Ice Tea, White Russian, Fuzzy Navel, and a Sex on the Beach, Margarita, Bloody Mary, Sloe Gin Fizz, learned to DRANK em all, on the rocks with a twist, there’s a hash to attend that will get ya pretty smashed, call 419-8343!
PS: May be a good idea to Uber/Lyft to this one!
Attire: Your favorite beer or booze shirts
Hare: CUM muter & Just Jack ?
Beer hare: BJ Tenderpussy
Prelube: Homedale Inn, 618 Homedale Street, NOLA
Start: Homedale Street & Hawthorne Place
On After: Homedale Inn
Trail is A to A. Approx. 4 miles TT.
Posted September 13th, 2019 by hareraiser
DISCLAIMER
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS WRITE UP —
EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE OR EVENTS — ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL.
ALL CELEBRITY VOICES ARE IMPERSONATED — POORLY — THE FOLLOWING WRITE UP CONTAINS COURSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE
Johnny, while you read this, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I hare in one week, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, Johnny. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing ass
You’re as good as kissing ass as Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!
I am the best in the world.
I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked in. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day, because Clittly saw something in me that scared him. That’s right, You know what else scarred Clitty? Commitment, not that I am one to talk. But the biggest difference between me and Clittly is I’m still fighting commitment.
I’ve grabbed so many of the imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don’t get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
And trust me, this isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.
I’m haring this week. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go hare in Japan Maybe…I’ll go back to Brunei H3.
Hey, BSB, how you doing?”
Because even if I was gone, you’re still going to pour money into this hash. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. VooDoo is going to keep running despite itself. It’s a good hash used to be a fantastic hash. You know why it’s not? Because we’re surrounded by glad-handed, nonsensical, possibly dutch, yes men, like Johnny, who’s going to tell us everything we wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this hash will be better after those at the top move on, but the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by over enthusiastic new comers and doofus.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight
Date: Thursday 19th Sept 2019
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Luchedore’s be damned – Wrestling Goes Punk
Start Address: 3701 Banks ST
Hare & Co-hares: Q.E. Oui Oui, Cactus Jack, KW3, Mick Foley, KW-Drunk, Man Kind, Paul Barer
Beer hare: The Notorious TBD
Pre-Lube: The Best Damned Irish Pub In the City – Finn McCools
On-After: The Infamous TBD
Dog Friendly: negatron
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Nah
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4 miles (that’s 8 tails for you measuring in the hedgehog system)
Trail is A to A+
