Hash Trash #159 – Columbus Layless

“I’m dissapointed no one swam except for Bumbletard”  -BB Dyke

I, Teeny Weeny on Top, actually believe that if my fellow hashers took the eagle trail two  Thursday nights ago, we’d be in for a longer night of resuscitating (making out with) some hashers.  And the Hares: Brokeback and Princess Layless’ performance that night was anti-climatic since only one ‘tard got sopping wet while everyone else was left feeling  dry, cold, nipply, and slighted at one of the most “romantic” spot in New Orleans called the Point. Even though the on in had a spectacular 369 view of the lake, the hares trail was eerily similar to run #155 Whistle Wedding Hash with the exception of a longer and dangerous swim in Lake Ponchartrain. We had about 30 participants, 1 virgin, 3 1/2 furry friends, plus a few latecomers to help us celebrate post Columbus-raiding-Indians day. Ironically, no one dressed as a Pilgrim…all you wankers can’t even support your own kind.

My Prius and I beer hared and because I was soberish, here’s what I learned through means of complete retention and eavesdropping. So what can one learn from this hash?

  • Ready Whip always pisses on trail
  • Eyes Up Here! exemplifies poofterism in his down down by completely mouthing the entire rim
  • You can sell huge ass garfish for a couple Benjamins…this catch interrupted our circle
  • The on after at Parlay’s was consumed by the worst karaoke singers in Lake-effin-view
  • Boys love it when a homeless harriette buys a nice round of Bud to share
  • To Princess Layless: Don’t leave your co-hare behind in the dust when you think you heard whistles blowing…it’s the damn volleyball players from Coco Beach
  • Try to avoid getting called into circle for disrupting Pastor Bait-Her or the hashers could sing to you “Ol’ MacDonald.” Trust me when I say AVOID!
  • Turkey Baster, Cone, Hitch, and a Plunger yields good times to come
  • If FMU haven’t given you your hash necklace in months after your naming ceremony, chances are that you will be renamed  (cough* urine jail)
  • I have renewed my love for salsa
  • Bumbletard gets the wet eagle badge of courage

May the hash get a Piece,


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