For all of you WHINY TIT-BABIES who couldn’t bring yourselves out of your leopard-print (or worse yet, generic) Snuggies to come Hash with us, this is for you:
‘La Virgina’ Just Sarah and the ‘more-experienced’ Mr. Dickie Wongstockings laid a somewhat visible trail through the CBD and FQ, only having lost THREE people by the end of Circle. Since I.M.E. has already been named, this incident must later be noted for the namings of Just Carl and Just Jason (whose New Year’s Resolution to start showing up to the Hash on time was considered an EPIC FAIL since he only met us at the Beer Stop).
Also suspiciously absent from the Trail were late-cumming Wanker and Wankette Just Kim and Montana Boy Toy, who I suspect would have been there if they hadn’t embarked on a ‘Paleo-Diet’ just four days prior. This makes sense if you think about it (or ask MBT. He’s all about the details). At least they brought their own beer (cups). Moving on, Circle was a brief affair in which attendees and the angry (yet secretly longing to be with us) tour group behind us in Jackson Square were privy to the viewing of Cock-a-Booty Boo’s Sports Bra. This would set a trend for the rest of the evening, after (nearly) the entirety of the evening’s frozen Hashcicles proceeded to stage a HOSTILE TAKEOVER (okay, maybe not so hostile) of Rotolo’s in the FQ. Once there, Everything Butt Sex’s ‘Vaginas Are Awesome‘ shirt (talk about being the Village Bicycle) made its way through yet ANOTHER round of sweaty, beer-and-wine-soaked Hashers, in which we all finally got to see Chum Dumpster’s BODACIOUS TA-TAS (or for those of you who didn’t black out during the post-RDR pool party, the second time). Apparently there was an On-After-After at Lick-A-Lotta Cock’s house, but for those still mesmerized by the sight of Chum’s TA-TA’s, there was nothing left to do but go home for the night.
Next week’s Hares will be Tidy Bowl Man (who, apparently, STILL KNOWS NUZZING!) and Puppy Love Machine, who had BETTER not fuck up. Again. Just sayin’.
And a note from Everything Butt Sex:
You can tell by picture B that it is a pretty even split by both men and women are fans of how Vaginas are awesome. I’m OK with this, but picture A is disturbing. It clearly shows that only 17% of the interactions that show how Vaginas are awesome are done by men. Do everything you can to improve that statistic today!