VooDoo #91 – Hash Trash

Surf’s up dudes!

Crazy Lady
Crazy Lady

This week we got a chance to extend our totally bodacious vocabulary to include all the wicked gnarly beach slang that all those radical Californians come up with all the time (which includes some of last week’s most tubular terms).  That’s because this week’s theme was “Life’s a Beach,” and it was suggested that we should wear swimsuits or other beach attire.  Most of us showed up in our usual running attire, which is totally LAAAAAAAMMMMEE.  In fact, the best costume was being sported by a VIRGIN, and she had a rockin’ beach bod and a killer umbrella hat:

At least Lack-a-Virgin and Skin Whistle had the audacity bare their breasts to us; and Pastor Bait-Her and Tighter Twat, bless their souls, pulled on their girlfriends’ bikini tops for the night.  And be surprised if you ever see Hobo Rodeo without a costume, even if it’s a low key one– you ever see her out of costume, you ask her what’s wrong.  Oh, and I almost forgot about this clown:

Scissor me timbers!
Scissor me timbers!

Skin Whistle and Dry Hole were the hares for this week, and we started outside of the N.O. Surf Shop (where else?).  There was a tech on trail, I think… I seem to remember it was ReCoonassense.  Heck, I don’t remember.

What else happened on trail this week?  Let’s see… half of us got ourselves stuck on the other side of a train when the trail didn’t even go in that direction– and by the time the train had past, the rest of us had still failed to find true trail.  Gotta love the VooDoo!  A bunch of young hot shots all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.  Is it just me, or is NOH3 a bit better at this than we are?

Or…. is it because we have terrible hares?  I wonder.  Are VooDoo hares naturally impaired?  When a visitor hashes for the VooDoo, do they do any better?  Or is it preordained that “VooDoo Trails Shall Suck?”  Is Jesus just pissed off because he can’t go hashing?  If a VooDoo hare lays trail in the woods, but there isn’t any hash that day, is it still a shitty trail??

What IS our major malfunction?  We do like to lay trail on things, behind things, and around things.  But no, I think we truly are terrible hounds.  People seem to generally agree that Tighter Twat lays a good trail, and we managed to completely lose it for about ten minutes, literally because no one happened to look in the third direction until then.  We gotta do better than this.

Well we usually finish trail eventually, and this one was successful in time.  I think at some point after we circled up, Bend Over Rover FINALLY showed up.  Not to mention we had to drive a couple virgins all the way to the finish.  Sheesh.  These lazy wankers.

Well, that’s all for now.  See you next week.

Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

Update: Oh!  I forgot the single biggest announcement of the night:  Pastor Bait-Her and Udderly Retitulous are now engaged!!! Congrats to both of them, and as The Pastor says in the comments below, look out for a bride/groom themed hash in the spring!

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