Hash Trash #153: Mall Rats

The 80’s were back in fashion last night as our misguided hares took us all throughout Metairie. Everything Butt Sex was a huge disappointment as he bailed on our semi-virgin hares, Princess Lay-ya and Baby Facial, and left them high and dry, but Dickie Wongstockings stepped in and helped our hares leave us all physically exhausted and completely satisfied, as a good Dickie always does.

The run took us up through Metairie and our hares lead us through a bunch of un-chartered territory last night. For our semi-virgin hares it was a semi-decent lay. But like any virgin, they’ll get better with practice.

The trail was fairly straight although Fillet Me Lay Me brought out a little gay as he frolicked down the street asking the best way to get to OZ. Filet Me Lay Me’s significant other, Grand Opening was slightly disappointed in his sudden interest in the same sex so she found some other balls on trail she could play with:

At BN, Lick A Lotta Cock showed up with her pussy and was offering to let people pet it and the jokes just kept cumming:

Dickie: “Your pussy was much hairier than I remember”

Baby Facial: “I wanna pet your pussy!”

Dickie:  “I’m highly allergic to your pussy”

As we headed off from BN we were greeted with a sea of cars as we tried to cross Vets and I.M.E. got called a bitch by some oh so friendly drivers. The hares then took us through Clearview Mall….through a Mall?! You can’t run through a mall? Sure you can! Just don’t get caught, and don’t bring your dog or they’ll call animal control on your ass, Puppy Love Machine. I’m pretty sure Princess Lay-less’ Risky Business costume left some mall patrons scarred for life:

Dickie Wongstockings led circle and like his trail, circle ended up semi-decent. Everyone seemed to be all about the three-somes last night with Three Hares, Three Virgins and Three FRB’s: I.M.E., Fillet Me Lay Me, and Orgasmic Matter. One Eyed Jack Off got so lost he CAME almost thirty minutes after everyone else did and got the title of DFL. Enough Already got called into circle for well being Enough Already and one of the virgin’s won best costume with an authentic Member’s Only Jacket which he found goodwill for $15. At the end of circle, Tidy Bowl and Chicken Pot Guy got into a lovers quarrel and Tidy had to choke his Chicken in order to get off:

Next week’s trail will be representing the Black and BOLD with our hares Dickie Wongstockings and Tidy Bowl Man. So CUM out to Jackson’s Square in Saint’s gear and wear a bold color and don’t worry Wankers, Dickie promises you won’t miss your precious football season opener. And if you do something stupid, which is pretty much guaranteed, you Wankers might even end up on TV.

On On,

8 Lays A Week

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