This week’s run will be on April 15th. Do your taxes before Thursday you fat lazy bastards. Come to the realization that you received a 2% pay increase, while taxes were raised and inflation went up 3%, so you actually make less money than you did last year. Stop thinking that you should get married, have kids, or buy a house just for the tax write off and start making important life decisions, like making your way to the hash every week. Now is the time to smile and laugh that you can’t even afford the clothes on your back anymore. We’re broke as shit, so dress in your lack of clothing. In case you were wondering, no, in honor of this run, we will not let you pay your $1 with an IOU or credit card.
It’s Cold Wet Douche’s Virgin lay, and it will be better than the shitty trails you usually run. That’s right, he has never laid anything before. He hasn’t gotten wet or gone down on trail. He doesn’t even know how long it is. How do we know he’ll run a good trail? Well, we don’t, but he will have Everything Butt Sex and TWOT co-haring. That’s right you wankers, the bottom loving dynamic duo will be showing this virgin how to lay it right. So be calm and enjoy the ride because all of these southern body part orientated hares will make the ass raping of tax season feel good all over mid-city. There might be shiggy. Since you won’t be wearing much clothing, we’ll OK the use of protection on trail. If you want to be a true hasher and stay with the theme, just run really close to hasher in front of you.
Since TWOT loves to flash her panties and moon people at times, this theme is inevitably most “fitting”. She will make sure that her bottom loving co-hares Butt Sex and Douche won’t disappoint. Since we all left the good pair of unmentionables at someone else’s house right before the walk of shame, we have to resort to having to wear our shit stained underwear w/ holes till we get a stimulus check.
I don’t know what’s scarier, 45 half naked people running through New Orleans or whatever a hasher has that he thinks is unmentionable.
Everything Butt Sex
Bonus Joke: What does douche, TWOT, and butt sex have in common? Used KY.!
Theme: Naked and broke
Hares: Cold Wet Douche, T.W.O.T, Everything Butt Sex, Urine Jail (Beer hare)
Start: Canal St. and Carrolton Ave (Wal-greens)
Time: 6:30 show, 7:00 Go!
Pre-lube: Red Door. Walking distance from Wal-greens.
Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming. If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER