Posted December 9th, 2019 by hareraiser
Can you believe it!!???
Believe what!?
A B.V.C. Epic Fucking Trail Adventure with Danger!!
Danger you say!!??
Yeah Timmy, don’t fall down the fucking well!! Cause Lassie ain’t coming to help!
All for a $1, and your choice of lubricants!! Not only that but there are two halves!! Holy shit!! That’s pretty fucking epic!
Seriously just a fucking dollar!! Best Deal Ever!!
You might get stabbed, cut, run over, ankle breaker holes, etc. Flashlight needed it’s such a fucking great trail!! This is not for the meek! Be warned!!
Come along on a B.V.C. Epic Trails, (Be Very Careful) thru the great city of New Orleans. Your adventure will include Halls of the Heros, Champagne. You’ll continue thru the zombie infested petrified forests, and seek sanctuary over the bridge traversing the steel river. From there you’ll fly thru the gladiators arena, to the forest of Libations. Be wary for this is just the beginning of the journey, for there are two trails for the price of one. That’s right You Lucky Bastards! 2 4 1!!! The second leg of your journey there is a picturesque photo op for Louis Armstrong, seriously cool pic watch the lights. You’ll zag next thru the Forest of Light, be mindful of the lost souls who have no idea what a fucking trail is!!! Once you’ve been blinded and cleansed by light, your journey will wander thru a brilliant extravaganza, followed by more Champagne!
After which songs and merriment of our trail tales, guzzle tonics, and ingest nutritious bar food!!
***Seriously, it’s a fun trail to run, walkers will miss out on interesting parts. Just be careful crossing streets, urban camp homosex, and look out for a fucking hole! It will be marked.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), **whistle, **flashlight
Date: Thursday,
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: B. V. C. (bowtie, Vest, corset) Danger Cloths, Epic Adventures In NOLA!!
Start Address: Ugly Dog Saloon, Tchop & Howard
Hare & Co-hares: Cock Ness Monster, Nine Drunken Miles
Beer hare: TBD, Any takers? Sucks you’ll miss all the Epicness, but its an honorable job!
Pre-Lube: Ugly Dog
On-After: Ugly Dog
Dog Friendly: No!! You will have to skip a part of trail if you bring one. Not Dog Friendly
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail?
Definitely want a flashlight and whistle, be careful crossing roads, and there is utility hole-cover missing for the runners after the split. I will mark it. Urban Shiggy. May need some danger underpants its so butt clenching good!
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: For the Runners no more than 6 miles at least 4 true trail. Walkers 3 miles.
Posted December 1st, 2019 by hareraiser
What’s this? What’s this? There’s trail marks everywhere.
What’s this? White powder in the air.
What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes. I must be dreaming. Tranny Jack, this isn’t fair!
What’s this?
What’s this? What’s this? There’s people singing songs.
What’s this? With lyrics that are wrong.
What’s this?
The streets are filled with tipsy runners laughing.
Everybody wearing happis. Have I possibly gone hashy?
WHAT IS THIS?
¿Santa-Qulaws? has packed his sleigh full of beer for all the good little hashers, but the Pumpkin Queen wants to take over Noel for herself. Can you make it to the beer sleigh before she finds it and fills it with Malort? Come in your creepiest costume, your most festive holiday attire, or both. Extra props if someone dresses as a lost Easter Bunny.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight
Date: Thursday, December 5
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Nightmare Before Hashmas (Just Noel’s Virgin Lay!)
Start Address: 1648 Gentilly Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70119
Hare & Co-hares: The Iceman Thumbeth and Just Noel
Beer hare: ¿Quesa-Did-Her?
Pre-Lube: Brook’s Seahorse Saloon, 1648 Gentilly Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70119
On-After: Brook’s Seahorse Saloon, 1648 Gentilly Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70119
Dog Friendly: Trail yes, bar no. Ghost dogs are an exception and are obviously allowed everywhere.
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? If you want extra credit, bring your ID and some cash.
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4 miles
Trail is A to A.
Posted November 17th, 2019 by hareraiser
Congratulations, you’re [probably] part of the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity. It’s that time once again– it’s the Thursday before Thanksgiving, so let’s hustle before everyone just literally stops caring about their health. Come join us at the ~FOURTH ANAL HEAVYWEIGHTS FAT CAMP HASH~. This year we head to Old Metairie on a trail to whip you into shape. Like any good camper knows, contraband abounds, so catch up with your Chipmunk Bunk, find your treats on trail and maybe break a sweat- after this trail, you’ll eat success for breakfast (with skim milk).
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), hustle, whistle, flashlight (highly recommend)
Date: Thursday, November 21, 2019
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Fat Camp IV: Come On You Devil Log!
Start Address: Fat Boy’s Pizza (2565 Metairie Rd, 70001)
Hare & Co-hares: Petrified Wood & In the Kitchen
Beer hare: TBD
Pre-Lube: Martine’s Lounge (2347 Metairie Rd, 70001)
On-After: Martine’s Lounge (2347 Metairie Rd, 70001)
Dog Friendly: Trail-yes, on after- no.
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Perkisystems uniform (your parents will be billed automatically), hustle, deli meats
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4 miles
Posted November 8th, 2019 by hareraiser
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight
Date: Thursday, 11/14
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: A run to Movember, a tribute to what’s in our Butts.
So yeah, men are big, smelly, loud, boorish, jerks who wreck up just about every planet they are in charge of. But some men are kinda your friends.
With that in mind, we prostate ourselves before the mercy of the hash and ask that you come out to help raise money for the research in protecting the greatest joke god ever played on cis gendered phobic dudes.
To head (that’s right I said it) off the next question: how am I supposed to costume for that?
– Grow a Mo (and join the team)
– Dress as some guy you look up to/ respect / like (don’t dress as yourself you phuqing narcissist) / don’t hate (yeah, the bar is pretty low)
– Come dressed as, or representing, the medical staff who’s job it is to explore the place where the sun doesn’t shine (unless you are into the whole hole tanning thing, in which case, good for you, enjoy your kink)
Of course, you could always just come as the ass you are.
Start Address: 1801 St Louis St (Lafitte Greenway)
Hare & Co-hares: Oui Oui, Intense Pee & Gayze (the man see more prostates than anyone)
Beer hare: Whoredini
Pre-Lube: Fharmacy
On-After: ATM it’s TBD
Dog Friendly: I don’t believe Fharmacy is, buut on after is up in the air, so… could be?
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Nah
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4 miles
Posted November 2nd, 2019 by hareraiser
“Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat? Nothin’ but the dog in me”
Voodoo has gone to the dogs (again apparently), so grab man’s best friend and bring them to trail. It’s b.y.o.d. and all puppers, doggos, floofers, and borkers are welcome. Got and old/lazy dog? I’m bringing my wagon so their lazy bones don’t even have to walk. There will also be dog beer and treats.
Bring: $1 (no coins); 6-pack (glass discouraged), whistle, flashlight (Seriously bring a flashlight)
Date: Thursday, 11/7
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm GO!
Theme: Doggy Style 🐶🐾🐩
Start Address: Canal Blvd & Rosedale Dr
Hare & Co-hares: Snitch Bitch, Roman Showers, Woody Pokeher
Beer hare: In The Kitchen
Pre-Lube: The Bulldog, Mid-City
5135 Canal Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70124
Happy hour till 7pm
On-After: The Bulldog, Mid-City
5135 Canal Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70124
$2 off all local pitchers and also our brewery of the month
Dog Friendly: Excessively so
Is a dry bag, shiggy gear, or anything specific needed for trail? Poop bags and a flashlight
Approx. -l-l-l–> length: 4 miles
Trail is A to A, A to A+
