New Boots, New Names, Same Old VooDoo

Hooooooleeeey crap campers, did we have us a group last night!

I, your friendly-ish local Pastor Bait-Her showed up a little before 6:30, and couldn’t believe my oh-so-beautiful eyes – early hashers! About 6 or 7 of them, all using NOST (New Orleans Substandard Time)!

I know that we’re usually a little late to start in general, but 7:00 rolled around and we had amassed a group of about 50 soon-to-be drunkards. The only problem was that we had no hares. They finally showed up, but much to my chagrin, they had no beer hare. Poor, poor Pastor.

Well, I rounded everyone up and gave our virgins – about 10 of them! – the chalk talk, and sent everyone on their way. Our relentless and mostly Zodiac-theme hounds seemed to find the beer stop without issue and the drinking resumed, fueled in part by the champagne and what may have been some sort of evil punch provided by one of our hares, Hobo Rodeo.

I didn’t actually have the punch but I do know that suspiciously shortly after it was presented, Tighter Twat joined Tidy Bowl Man and myself in the beer truck for the 2nd half of trail. Maybe it was the punch, maybe he’s just a pussy.

Maybe both, but we’ll never really know.

Well, the hounds made it to the ON-IN across the street from the Rouses on Carrollton without incident or stitches (*ahem* Just Tara). With everyone in, I started up the large but relatively well-behaved circle.

Circle was fun, but unfortunately lacked sufficient beer, so I had to cut it short(er), like I’ll try to do with the rest of this trash.

It took about an hour to introduce all the 2 million new boots (ok, closer to 10), we made the hares Hobo Rodeo and Whole Lotta Cum drink from someone’s costume accessory (a bucket at each end of a pole),  Dickie Wongstockings and a New Boot drank using the Sleeves Of Justice (twice!), and we baked Hobo Rodeo a cake using I’d say close to three pounds of flour and a whole Newcastle.

Perhaps most importantly, we brought Just Jorge, Just Erin, Just Kristen, Just Drew, and Just Tara into the circle. After a lengthy discussion, we brought them back, keeping Just Jorge and Just Drew and baptised them.

So from now on, Just Jorge is to be called Licks ‘Em Young:

Licks Em Young

And Just Drew is Two in the Mouth, Five in the Hole:
Two in the Mouth Five in the Hole

We have some good stuff for the others, who I am sure will be named soon. Like I said, we ran out of beer.

And I would have pushed for a name for Just Tara, but it didn’t feel right without Fill Me Up there. You see, on her virgin hash, Just Tara had a little run-in with a fence and had to get about 7 stitches in her shin. At the Red Dress, Fill Me Up insisted that she wait until the hash on Thursday, so she could take them out herself in circle.

The problem is, Fill Me Up was in Florida last night. Bad Fill Me Up, Bad!

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