A message from Dickie Wong:
So, it’s Christmas time in nola, no better time than the present to have a hash exchange of excess/ill fitting hash gear for the newbs that aint got shit.
Eminem is so hardcore, he from 8 mile. So, in celebration of all things hardcore, we gonna make it hard for yall, so you don’t ruin your appreciation of the finer things. What I’m trying to tell you is, THERE WILL BE A TURKEY EAGLE SPLIT. Said split will either take you on a “normal” trail or on a New Orleans style ballbuster that will probably either end with you catching the hare or going way too far off trail and calling in air support. If you think you are super smart and like to “parallel” the group be prepared to miss the split and end up going the 8 miles because you were cheating and that’s what cheaters get. You’ll know you missed it when you feel like you are about 5 miles in and at least 3 miles from the start.

Date: Thursday, December 22, 2011

Theme: You heard the man – 8 mile, dawg
Start: The little park @ Tchoupitoulas St. & Race St.
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm go
Hares: Dickie Wongstockings + Just Ryan & Just Tim (virgin lays)
Cost: $1 (no coins plz) and a 6 pack (bring more if you plan to drink more)
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, and your glock (no, Game Ovary, don’t really bring your glock).
Because it’s muthafuckin Christmas, bring any hash gear you don’t want anymore, to participate in what is sure to be an awesome/hilarious gift exchange.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Voodoo is having a potluck [insert whichever winter holiday pisses you off less] dinner on Friday, starting around 7:30pm and ending whenever The Black Labia kicks us all out. If you don’t know where her home is, join the Voodoo group on Facebook and someone will be kind enough to point you in the right direction. Bring a dish, or at least a bottle of booze.

In the words of Game Ovary, “There hasn’t been this much smoke on the water since Michael Phelps. Air quality resembles the interior of Lemmy Kilmister’s lungs.”

At first I thought, “What are we gonna do! Nobody wants to run a hash in this mess!” — as evidenced by the fact that not a single goddamn one of you wankers volunteered to hare until this afternoon.

Date: Thursday, September 1, 2011

Theme: Wear your Saints shit, ’cause you know you want to anyway.
Start: Snake & Jake’s Christmas Club – 7612 Oak Street, New Orleans, LA 70118
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00 GEAUX
Hare: Just Jessie (a virgin lay no less!)
Cost: $1 (no coins please) and a 6 pack of whatever cheap swill you’re drinking this week.
Bring: Your ID, a whistle and flashlight or headlamp, and this week perhaps a gas mask or other breathing apparatus. Those of us who smoke will have a home-field advantage.

We also need a hare for next week. Email voodoohash@gmail.com if you want to volunteer.

This week, the newly named Jizz Rag will be laying trail in a bedsheet with Grand Opening. And you know, if you read that in a certain way, it seems like they’ll be sharing a sheet – which might just make trail more interesting.

Theme: TOGA!
Hares: Jizz Rag (Virgin Lay!) and Grand Opening
Start: Camp and 9th St.
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!
Pre-lube: Bulldog on Magazine St.

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

 
This Thursday, we’re going to be getting down and dirty in Lakeview. Just Ralph is poppin’ his har-e  cherry (heh) with Slam Bam Thank You Lamb, so watch out – Slam Bam isn’t known for being gentle.

There will be shiggy, and there will be mud. Think of this as a camp-out warm-up. The hares also made it a point to tell me that FLASHLIGHTS ARE NEEDED! So bring yours! (I’m lookin’ at you, Just Miranda)

Ralph will be hosting the on-after – I think he’s making gumbo or something equally awesome.

Theme: Wilderness Survival / Inglourious Basterds / Hunting
Pre-Lube: Parlay’s (870 Harrison Ave) 5:30ish
Start: 827 Harrison Ave. (Big empty parking lot)
Time: 6:30
Hares: Just Ralph (Virgin Lay!) and Slam Bam Thank You Lamb

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then bring $10, you ugly basterd. If you continue to not bring beer, then you STILL pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

“Born-again Virgin Hare? How is this possible?” I hear you cry.

Well, remember when Erectiaphobia (his wife) and I drug you through City Park the other week? Well, he was supposed to hare but came down with the plague, so she stepped up.

Well, it seems there’s nothing to save us now – he’s determined to hare and ready to go. Oh, and it’d be wise to wear scrubs / shiggy socks / etc. Just Mike seems to like the idea of going headfirst into the bush, ya heard?

And just to be perfectly clear on the new “I suck and Didn’t Bring a Six-Pack” policy – IF YOU DON’T BRING BEER, YOU’RE PAYING 10 GORRAM DOLLARS OR GETTIN’ THE HELL OUT! Repeat offenders will be denied beer. For serious.

Theme: “First Laid” – Doctor, Nurse, Virgin, etc …
Location: City Park Peristyle ( by the Tennis Courts – Dreyfous off Anseman )
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Just Mike (virgin lay!) and Tidy Bowl Man

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then bring $10, you ugly bastard.

the theme is now “Shitty Park”. Looking at the weather forecast, it’s supposed to start raining Wednesday evening, and not stop till some time on Friday. Awesome.

One way or another, my dear chickens, plan on getting wet. I’m not saying you’re going to go swimming, but look at it this way:
1) It’s City Park – there’s normally a lot of water.
2) If it lets up just before the hash, it’ll still be all puddly and soggy and shit
c) It could very well rain during the hash.

It’s Louisiana – it tends to rain.

As far as themed attire, well I’m at a loss. You could dress up as anything shitty, whether it be an actual pig, or bacon, or Windows ME, or soon-to-be-ex-Mayor Nagin, or bacon vodka.

Mmmm, bacon vodka. If nobody shows up as bacon vodka, then someone better at least bring some. If you do however show up as bacon vodka, well, I guess you’d better bring some anyways.

Oh, and did I mention it’s Just Mike’s (Erectia’s hubby) virgin lay? Well, it is!

Theme: “Shitty Park” – seriously, look three lines up.
Location: Across from the driving range on Filmore Ave. in City Park
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Just Mike (virgin lay!) and Pastor Bait-Her

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer, forget that six dollar thing. IF YOU DON’T BRING BEER, YOU’RE PAYING 10 GORRAM DOLLARS OR GETTIN’ THE HELL OUT!

WHO DAT, BITCHES!

And now back to our regular programming:

Hares: Just Darren (Virgin!), Tidy Bowl Man, Ready Whip
When: 6:30pm, Jan 21st
Where: Celebration Church at Transcontinental and I-10
Pre-Lube: Step Brothers Bar – W. Napoleon and Transcontinental
On-After: Just Darren’s at 2516 Margie St. Metairie, LA 70003.
Theme: cum dressed as your dream
Costs: $1 and a Six-Pack. Bring a six pack, I’m tired of running out of beer. And bring a flashlight and a gorram whistle.

 
I know I know, we’ve had a bad run with virgin hares as of late, but A) you have to start somewhere, and B) shut up and hare you lazy bastard. This week we take our chances in the small (but not cabbage-scented) hands of Just Teeny.

May Breesus have mercy on our souls.

Also, if you have some clothes that you want the VDH3 Rabbit Logo silk screened onto, bring it! Here’s the low down:
- the cost will be $6.00 per print (so a back and front shirt will cost $12 to print)
- payment due with garment
- printed garments will be distributed at the voodoo christmas hash (date TBD)
- printing will be in black or white ink only (please specify)
- no guarantees of work (like last year, if the printer screws up and ruins your shirt, then that sucks)

Hares: Just Teeny (Virgin!) and Skin Whistle (Soooooo not a virgin hare)
When: December 10th, 6:30 pm
Where: Blockbuster/Circle K/Shell parking lot, 6225 S. Claiborne Ave New Orleans, LA 70125
Theme: Spy vs. Spy / Black or White attire

You know the usual deal – bring $1 and a six pack, $6 if you’re one of those beerless bastards. Bring a flashlight and a whistle. If you get cold easily, don’t be an idiot and not bring any warm clothes.

This week’s hash is hared by a virgin lay (Just Nick) and and overall mess (One Eyed Jackoff), so let me give you a little bit of advice:

Remember last week? BRING A WHISTLE AND A FLASHLIGHT! You’ll probably need it.

Hares: Just Nick (virgin lay), and One eyed jack off (not sure if he’s hared before or not)
Start: Southport Hall 200 Monticello Ave. Jefferson, LA 70121
Theme: Tits and Ass

As always, bring $1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you suck and don’t bring any beer. And don’t be the 1% that doesn’t bring your flashlight and a whistle!

No, no, not a soldier, an Assholdier like us, fool.

 
Hares: Just Dave (virgin lay), Penis Fly Crap (virgin lay), In-Dickcision
When: November 12th, 6:30 pm
Where: Constance St. and 3rd St. (The Irish Channel)
Theme: Warrior, Uniform or Braveheart style

$1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you neglect our thirsty clan of their war spoils (by not bringing beer). Bring cash for on-after at a nearby bar that’s expecting some rowdy hashers. Oh, and do remember your flashlight and whistle, you’ll regret it if you don’t.

*Edit by Pastor Bait-Her: Who all seen the Leprechaun say ‘yeah!’