Hike up those halter tops and step into those strappy shoes, my young, well-hung sausages, because this week’s hash is going to be an all-out, no-holds-barred, no-groping-barred DRAG RACE! And by this I mean a race to freak out as many families as possible while they’re just trying to enjoy a nice evening in City Park. So don’t come dressed in a NASCAR jumpsuit; we’re talking drag queens here. If you can’t think of anything to wear, just think “WWNCTD?” (What would No-Cunt Troll do?) And bring your transvestite friends, they’ll fit right in.

The hash will start in front of NOMA in City Park, will be an A to B with transportation back to the start, and will be live-hared by the fabulous drag duo of Erectiaphobic and Lack-a-Virgin.

So don your most implausible wig, paint your face with garish makeup, pull on a tutu, do whatever you gotta do to make sure YOU are the belle of the ball! (or is that the belle with the balls?… hmm)

Hares: Lack-A-Virgin, Hey! and Erectiaphobic (Virgin Lay!)
When: October 22nd, 6:30 pm
Where: New Orleans Museum of Art, Mid-City
Theme: Drag Queen Racing

As always, the hash costs $1 and a six pack. If you don’t bring beer, we’ll look at you funny, and reluctantly accept $6 instead. If you don’t bring a flashlight and a whistle, don’t come crying to me if you fall in some hole in city park and they find your bones 30 years from now… along with a pair of stripper heels.

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

In celebration of the 4th of July, our oral-obsessed hares are celebrating with keeping the trail short so all you wankers can stuff your faces with wieners! So, get all patriotic-lookin’ and get your ass uptown! There’ll be a hot-dog eating contest, but I don’t know if it’ll be during or after the trail – let’s just hope it’s after.

All the standard fare apply: bring $1 and a six-pack, a whistle, and a flashlight. A bottle of water would also be wise. Snacks and transportation back to the cars will be provided.