Look it's TidyBowlMan on her back!

Great job on the hash, Princess Lay Ya (Chocolate Dick) and Game Ovaries, for running us ragged through the Warehouse District, French Quarter, Marigny and almost Algiers (for the idiots who lingered and wondered if they should hop the ferry). I mean I never heard more hashers telling me that a night with you two would make them feel sooo sore.  Score! We definitely loved the Pac Man true trail, although it would have been cooler if you laid cherries or dead ghost for the taking.  Circle was interesting as we had a bigger turn out in the end thanks to auto hashers and latecummers. Special nod to Batteries Not Included for bringing this special character, Milton, to join us at Circle. Milton is running across country to raise money for a organization in Africa. He’s completed 1/3 of the journey as he stops in New Orleans. Hats off to you, overachiever! Check out his website to see Batteries and Just Dana featured in www.100daysofmadness.com and  the charity he’s busting ass for on www.ecye.org

Comic Con 2011 had nothing on these peeps.

And and THIS GUY here should know better. For the noobs, don’t wear brand new shoes to the hash ever. I promise you it doesn’t taste pleasant. Trust me.

And there was a naming! You can count on Just Dustin to dress up at every themed hash that we’ve had and this past one takes the cake as he’s stole this outfit from his little sister’s closet. Seriously,we’d be impressed if you roller skated that night. This bloke will be surely missed as he leaves for Scottsdale and will arrive there with his very own hash name of…

Final upcumming events and notes:

Be ready for our Annual Camp Out taking place April 1st. Registration is $40 and you can either pay Fill Me Up in cash or go to PayPal. Start looking for tents, roomies…

Bring article of clothing to get Voodoo logo screen printed. $5 per item. Please mark where you want the logo to go and make sure you write your name on it.

This cumming week’s hash is going to feature Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish. Be ready for a short lived ride of your lives. Stay tuned for details…

What a clusterfuck last night was.  We waited over an hour for the elusive Butt Sex to CUM, after all the talk of how AWESOME this lay would be and how we would experience Butt Sex like we never had before….he didn’t even show up! So we decided to stick with the only tried and true way to CUM. However someone decided this way was with Bumbletard and lets just say his name pretty much describes how his trail was. Poor Just Sara, this was her virgin lay and not only was let down by Butt Sex but she also had to handle ‘Tard:

“Did they just tie the flour to a cat and let it loose to lay this trail?” – Missing Period.

As the hares ran off into campus we apparently weren’t paying attention and ran the trail completely backwards, forwards, sideways and Kris Krossed. Random YBF’s leading into brick walls and orange post-it notes that brought us into buildings but didn’t show us the way out? If I didn’t know any better I would have thought Helen Keller herself laid this trail. Wankers were blowing whistles every which way and it didn’t help that Enough Already kept confusing On-One with On-On! At one point we decided to fuck trail and just oogle Shit Candy and his amazing performance skills on a Pole…..too bad we forgot to tip our dancer and all got called out in circle and made to do some Down-Downs.

When we got to circle we realized that a lot of people couldn’t handle this lay and bailed out…. We started with 6-8 virgins and only ended up with 1 at the end. I think that in itself explains this trail. As we sung to our Virgins, Cock-A-Booty-Boo was ready with some well placed cue cards since apparently our Drunk Asses can’t remember a certain part of the Virgin Song:

We celebrated a milestone for Just Jenna last night. She passed some fancy tests and soon (possibly now) she’ll be doling out some prescriptions for you pill poppin’ wankers. To celebrate we made her show us her oral skills incase any special wankers want or need a physical from her.

Circle ended smoother than it began and I think we all learned a lesson from last night:

Beware, No one cums with Butt Sex.

On- On Bitches,

8 Lays A Week

• Halloween Hash: October 31st – 11am See Calendar for Details
• Black Dress Run: Nov. 1st – 6:30pm See Calendar for Details
• Cock-A-Booty-Boo has LA-Ren Fest tickets for cheap! First Served First to Cum!

I, Teeny Weeny on Top, actually believe that if my fellow hashers took the eagle trail two  Thursday nights ago, we’d be in for a longer night of resuscitating (making out with) some hashers.  And the Hares: Brokeback and Princess Layless’ performance that night was anti-climatic since only one ‘tard got sopping wet while everyone else was left feeling  dry, cold, nipply, and slighted at one of the most “romantic” spot in New Orleans called the Point. Even though the on in had a spectacular 369 view of the lake, the hares trail was eerily similar to run #155 Whistle Wedding Hash with the exception of a longer and dangerous swim in Lake Ponchartrain. We had about 30 participants, 1 virgin, 3 1/2 furry friends, plus a few latecomers to help us celebrate post Columbus-raiding-Indians day. Ironically, no one dressed as a Pilgrim…all you wankers can’t even support your own kind.

My Prius and I beer hared and because I was soberish, here’s what I learned through means of complete retention and eavesdropping. So what can one learn from this hash?

• Ready Whip always pisses on trail
• Eyes Up Here! exemplifies poofterism in his down down by completely mouthing the entire rim
  

• You can sell huge ass garfish for a couple Benjamins…this catch interrupted our circle

• The on after at Parlay’s was consumed by the worst karaoke singers in Lake-effin-view
• Boys love it when a homeless harriette buys a nice round of Bud to share
• To Princess Layless: Don’t leave your co-hare behind in the dust when you think you heard whistles blowing…it’s the damn volleyball players from Coco Beach
• Try to avoid getting called into circle for disrupting Pastor Bait-Her or the hashers could sing to you “Ol’ MacDonald.” Trust me when I say AVOID!
• Turkey Baster, Cone, Hitch, and a Plunger yields good times to come
• If FMU haven’t given you your hash necklace in months after your naming ceremony, chances are that you will be renamed  (cough* urine jail)
• I have renewed my love for salsa
• Bumbletard gets the wet eagle badge of courage
  

May the hash get a Piece,

TWOT

Last Thursday’s hash was lacy, tightie-whitey, briefs, and boxers. Thankfully there were no Granny Panties…..

Yup all you wankers took my threat seriously and everyone was out in full theme for Tidy Bowl’s Underwear Birthday Hash. Even Game Ovary made it ON TIME for once! We took off from New York Pizza and headed through uptown and down St. Charles. There were a lot of dogs out on this trail but no Puppy Love?

The trail was fairly straight and the first half was a lot like our hare …. short. But explain me this? Who puts a YBF a block away from beer near? Apparently our hares do. Are you trying to steer me AWAY from the beer? I thought this was a DRINKING club with a RUNNING problem….

Second half of trail wasn’t as nice as the first half, at least for me and a few other veteran wankers. Missing Period, Slam Bam, Cock-A-Bootie-Boo, myself and a few others lost trail and kept wondering between Tchop and Mag hopelessly asking if anyone had seen any beer.  With a little call-in for help we found out our sorry asses got lost only about two blocks away from the ON-IN. We did a couple of down downs for that one.

Our dear Pastor Bait-her tried to run circle but apparently his sabbatical from hashing made him forget how to show our lovely virgins how to properly do a down-down. Bunk Fuck Whoops Just Candice had an incestual lesbian moment when she made two virgins CUM which gave all the males chubs (which was quite obvious since everyone was wearing underwear). Some of them even CAME out of their underwear and all the girls shuttered at the sight of Non-Stop Oral’s hot dog dance. We made sure to get back at this wanker for this unwanted display by introducing him to Old McDonald’s Whale. We sang Tidy a good ole happy birthday fuck you but I musta heard wrong because apparently he was given a cake? But I didn’t see any….totally disappointed. I wanted some short-cake!

Happy Birthday You old Wanker!

This week’s hash is still a mystery since Tidy Bowl Man apparently can’t seal the deal but thankful Princess Lay-less has volunteered to step in (since he can’t get any himself) with possibly Broke Back Dyke?? Maybe that’s why he can’t get any pussy because he’s been swinging the other way. Don’t worry Lay-less, Broke Back Dyke will take it easy on you if it’s your first time.  Better see you Wankers out there this week in full theme again (whatever that might be).

On-on,

8 Lays A Week

TLAM opened this momentous lay with the blessing and then it was every hasher for themselves. There was some rough shiggy on this lay and if you weren’t carefully you definitely ended up with scratches and bite marks. Rumor has it even the elusive Clit-R-Us was found during this lay, and I definitely got wet as I’m sure most did. And Virgins! Were there Virgins! So many virgins came to this lay and were ready for us to pop their virgin cherry. We did have some late-cummers from New Orleans, Baby Facial and Princess Lay-ya, who managed to meet us half-way. Better late than pregnant.

It was a long and completely fulfilling lay, but eventually we all finished. Afterward, Hashers gathered at Blues Tavern and Scumbag preformed sacred rituals and we sang in celebration with beer and food flowing copiously amongst all who came. Hashers competed in events to show others who could be the best of the pack displaying their sexual skills in many different positions. Condoms were present and lubed for your pleasure and possibly for the first time ever they actually helped people get wet. Can I Fuck Your Sister? came out on top when he discovered that Everything Butt Sex doesn’t bust the condoms. Some hashers whipped out their bananas and tacos and displayed their amazing oral talents (We have pictures Twinkle Twat) and I discovered my tongue thrashings are in need of some serious practice. Any takers?

The revelry lasted well into the night as this 500th lay finally came to end. Whew, I know I left completely satisfied and utterly exhausted, and if you didn’t then you were probably doing something wrong. Congrats to the GCH3 on their 500th Lay and I hope they continue to fuck around so we can all cum again to celebrate more of their milestones.

On-On,

8 Lays A Week

Thursday’s run was in celebration of Skin Whistle and Dry Hole Whistle Blower’s nuptials and man was that a rough, wet lay. It started off at Coconut Beach/West End Park and went seemly well until some fuckin’ Wanker who has yet to be identified yelled “YBF” in the middle of True Trail and sent half the pack off in the wrong direction looking for “true trail.” From what I hear from the Front Running Bastards, the actual true trail had some really nice shiggy on it. Too bad us slower wankers were just wondering around in Robért’s Parking Lot looking like some lost virgins in search of what every virgin yearns for …. BEER!

After we finally found BN, the second half was much more enjoyable and brought us much satisfaction running through shiggy, jumping fences and left most of us completely wet (like all good lays should). Yea we had some cuts and bruises afterward, but it was all worth it after a quick swim in Lake Pontchartrain led us to the On-In and what we all love, more BEER!

Overheard on trail: “This trail has to be A to B because there’s only one way in and out of West End Park” –Leave it to our great hares to be inventive.

Circle was like our trail, started off tame but ended up wet and yeasty. Pastor preformed a quick ceremony for the newly wed couple which included the Harriette, formally known as Dry Hole, taking her bed lovers name and shall now forth be known as Whistle Blower.

We had quite a few FRBs drink but after all the drunkenness I can only remember Broke Back Dyke and Bumble-Tard. There were also a lot of Back Sliders, Non-Theme wearing Bastards and we celebrated a bunch of Birthdays —- Happy Womb Emancipation Day to all!

Shortly after that circle soon became like a scene out of Coyote Ugly with beer flying every which way. Eyes Up Here gave all of us a show with his teeny weenie bikini. After too many down-downs everyone seemed to be pouring beer on their heads….Head? Who said Head? I’ll take some of that! TWOT, Urine Jail and I decided we were done drinking and decided to just pour the beer craniums.  A good time was definitely had by all.

Next week’s run is out in Old Metairie near the Langenstein’s so get your Wanking Asses out there and maybe not call a false YBF this time?

On- On,

8 Lays A Week

Reminders:

October 1-3 is the Texas Crab Hash texascrabhash.com

Bumble-Tard is doing the MS Tour for Cure – Check out his donation page, he is offering his Saints vs. Panthers ticket (Section 551) to the highest (sperm) donor. MS Tour for Cure Donations

One word for last night: SUPER!

Our defending SUPERbowl Champions gave us a SUPER WIN! Well maybe it wasn’t that super but hey a win is a win. And We put Favre on the Ground!

Oh yea the hash…. Good Job Drinking, Folks! Extra points for showing up last night! Dickie Wong, decked out in his Super Saints Cape (he was faster than the speed of light!) led us on a brutal run around the block and we ended up at Lucy’s watching the game. Circle? Eh who needs it when the saints are playing!

WHO DAT? TWO DAT!

Don’t forget next week is Dry Hole and Skin Whistle’s Wedding Hash! So Get your cross-dressing fools out to the Voodoo next week and wish these wankers a happy mattress monkey!

Gulf Coast 500th Hash Next Saturday in Mobile check out the website for details: Gulf Coast 500
LSU NOH3 Hash Game is also Next Saturday check out Facebook for details: LSU Hash Game

On On,

8 Lays a Week

The run took us up through Metairie and our hares lead us through a bunch of un-chartered territory last night. For our semi-virgin hares it was a semi-decent lay. But like any virgin, they’ll get better with practice.

The trail was fairly straight although Fillet Me Lay Me brought out a little gay as he frolicked down the street asking the best way to get to OZ. Filet Me Lay Me’s significant other, Grand Opening was slightly disappointed in his sudden interest in the same sex so she found some other balls on trail she could play with:

At BN, Lick A Lotta Cock showed up with her pussy and was offering to let people pet it and the jokes just kept cumming:

Dickie: “Your pussy was much hairier than I remember”

Baby Facial: “I wanna pet your pussy!”

Dickie:  “I’m highly allergic to your pussy”

As we headed off from BN we were greeted with a sea of cars as we tried to cross Vets and I.M.E. got called a bitch by some oh so friendly drivers. The hares then took us through Clearview Mall….through a Mall?! You can’t run through a mall? Sure you can! Just don’t get caught, and don’t bring your dog or they’ll call animal control on your ass, Puppy Love Machine. I’m pretty sure Princess Lay-less’ Risky Business costume left some mall patrons scarred for life:

Dickie Wongstockings led circle and like his trail, circle ended up semi-decent. Everyone seemed to be all about the three-somes last night with Three Hares, Three Virgins and Three FRB’s: I.M.E., Fillet Me Lay Me, and Orgasmic Matter. One Eyed Jack Off got so lost he CAME almost thirty minutes after everyone else did and got the title of DFL. Enough Already got called into circle for well being Enough Already and one of the virgin’s won best costume with an authentic Member’s Only Jacket which he found goodwill for $15. At the end of circle, Tidy Bowl and Chicken Pot Guy got into a lovers quarrel and Tidy had to choke his Chicken in order to get off:

Next week’s trail will be representing the Black and BOLD with our hares Dickie Wongstockings and Tidy Bowl Man. So CUM out to Jackson’s Square in Saint’s gear and wear a bold color and don’t worry Wankers, Dickie promises you won’t miss your precious football season opener. And if you do something stupid, which is pretty much guaranteed, you Wankers might even end up on TV.

On On,

8 Lays A Week

My Oh My, how on earth did Texticle Teaser go on hashing/walking for over a year and never laid a freaking trail? Well, the timidness (implying hesitant on this one, that CocoRum-lovin’ gal ain’t shy) wore off as she felt compelled to conquer her first lay in the Lower Garden.  Was her co-hare Dickie Wongstocking rough with her? Considering how hot and sweaty she looked, we reckon so. Sorry, Chum. Was it a shitty trail? It wasn’t shitty but to commemorate the icy theme in this hot ass city, someone had the notion to sit on ice as I quote Dickie, “and hares sitting on bags of ice… drankin’!  And then there were 5 virgins that definitely met the minimum requirement for a gangbang but the lube went missing…sigh. It was strange to hear “Slam Bam Thank You Lamb made me cum” from a lovely virgin gal by way of Italy.  At least it wasn’t strange for Hobo to pick up one kickass virgin off the streets.  A couple visitors brought cultural mix to the hash; one relocated from Los Angeles and the other a good ol’ chap from Bangkok, Thailand.  Our inner PeeWee’s snicker-worthy word of the day was “Bang Cock.”

The Good – Free Snowballs – Beer Check was at a snowball stand which we must thank Texticle Teaser and Fill Me Up for the icy cool down

The Bad – Circle – One-Eyed Jack-Off was given a rare opportunity to run circle and rare it will continue to be…

“What’s that thing we do at the end? Swing low? Oh, yeah”

–One-Eyed Jack-Off

Tags: Dickie Wongstockings, Hash Trash, One Eyed Jackoff, Texticle Teaser, Uptown
]]> http://www.voodoohash.com/2010/07/16/you%e2%80%99ve-been-iced-baby/feed/ 0 http://www.voodoohash.com/2010/07/10/hash-trash-virgins-in-the-park/ http://www.voodoohash.com/2010/07/10/hash-trash-virgins-in-the-park/#comments Sat, 10 Jul 2010 22:46:14 +0000 Everything Butt Sex http://voodoohash.com/?p=1164 Virgins, Virgins, who’s got the virgins? Virgins hashers, virgins hare. Seven virgins came to this week’s trail and 8 Lays a week popped her cherry laying flour. She might not be a badass cougar, laying flour and going down down, like a pro just yet. At least she isn’t scared and timid anymore, or complains about how much it hurts.

As for the hash virgins, one couldn’t handle it, and quit before anyone finished, a second virgin came late. One of the needle dick virgins managed to cut a hole in the slip n slide at beer near. The others fucked through mud, like champions, without protection for about 3 miles. Seriously, I can’t believe no one called me out for not making sure the virgins had proper boots for what they were about to endure. The trail ran through shitty park. Hashers were running into each other, and were lost in the woods until they found the jello shots hidden, on trail, on one of the few hills in New Orleans.

With all the cherry popping going on last night, I’d like to remind everyone of the Voodoo Song Book. If you want more songs, feel free to use the Googles.

Next week’s run is going to be uptown, hared by Veteran DickieWong Stockings, and virgin hare Texticle Teaser! Get your asses out there!

Finally a special shout out goes out to Bumbletard, who managed to get his car stuck in the mud, and A Little Prick for opening a tab at Parlay’s after the On-In.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex.

High above the virgin’s garter
High above her knee
Lies the secret of her honorHer virginityRoll her over, oh so softlyGently in the grass.This is what we live and die for,Piece of virgin ass.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

WE’VE GOT VIRGINS
Melody – Frere Jacques

We’ve got virgins,
We’ve got virgins,
At our hash,
At our hash,
Gonna get’em drunked up,
Gonna get’em fucked up,
Down the hatch,
Up the ass,

So drink it down, down, down . . .