Date: Thursday, October 27, 2011

Theme: “Ghastly Gals and Halloweenies” – Everyone better have a freakin costume or they’re sitting on ice. No ifs, ands, or buts… well maybe some butts.
Start: Banks St. Bar and Grill – 4401 Banks St, New Orleans, LA
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm go
Hares: Dick’s a Flava & Fried Chicken Snatch
Cost: $1 (no coins, please) and a 6 pack (bring more than 6 beers if you plan to drink more than 6 beers).
Bring: Most importantly, a FLASHLIGHT. You will need one — according to the hares, there will be obstacles on trail. But don’t worry, there won’t be any bogs this week. That I know of.

Other Shiznit: Cock a Booty Boo has discounted Renaissance Faire tickets for sale, $8 a piece. Also, we got some shiggy socks back in the haberdashery, they are $10 (NO COINS DAMMIT YA WANKERS).

The Dickie Wong is back in the NO! Hide your kids, hide your wife! And he’s somehow convinced yours truly to hare with him this Thursday.

Dickie and I want you to break out that dirty cum stained, beer soaked costume out of your dirty clothes hamper and bring it out to Coliseum Square on Thursday for a Costume Cornucopia. I don’t know about you drunken bastards but one weekend of drunken/candy ridden revelry was definitely not enough for my costume. I mean it isn’t everyday you can wear basically nothing, throw “Sexy” in front of a noun and call it a costume (well maybe here in NOLA you can). Dickie promises to judge a Costume Contest for the most hasher-esque costume and will give one lucky hasher a special prize — here’s looking at you Butt Sex (if you actually cum).

Also bring out those old rotting pumpkins with your skanky asses because we’re gonna have a good ole fashioned Pumpkin Chunkin Contest! And if you were a Halloween Scrooge and didn’t buy any pumpkins this year I’m sure Wal-Fart has some on-sale.

Hares: Dickie Wongstockings and 8 Lays A Week

Theme: Old Dirty Hasher Halloween Costumes

Location: Camp St and Euterpe St – Coliseum Square

Time: THURSDAY, November 4th. 6:30pm Show. 7pm, Go!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle AND A PUMPKIN! If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer (or a pumpkin) then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer (or a pumpkin), then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER (or pumpkins)!

View Larger Map

View Larger Map

Moving on, this week’s hash is uptown, with a – you guessed it – Halloween theme. SO dress on up you wankers, it’s not that hard.

Considering that the prelube is at Madigan’s (Maple and S. Carrollton), I think I’mma dress up as some highschool/college douchenozzle for my costume.

Okay, enough snark. Pastor out.

Hares: Eyes Up Here and Monkey Spanker
Theme: Hashoween! Just costume gorram it!
Location: Dublin St. and Maple St., New Orleans, LA 70118
Time: Thursday, October 28th. 6:30pm Show. 7pm, Go!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

View Larger Map

Enough about the trail, on-on to the circle, where we had another round of new Hash Namings! First off there was those two “wild and craaazy guys” from eastern Europe: Just Jakob and Just Nikola! Here they are in Hawaiian shirts. Notice the green bottles they’re drinking; what is that, Heineken? Czechvar? You and your imported pilseners… just for that they shall now be known as Check My Small Cockia and Eastern Cock Block! Then we had Just Kessyn who also had a pre-cooked name. Don’t ask me how or why, but he shall forever be known as Pusti Malaka (sp?), which means faggot masturbator in Greek, of course. Next up was Just Kristen, for whom we had a flurry of names: Tightens When Wet, 30-year-old Boobs, Cums With Camo… but the theme of cold and wet stuck, and we finally settled on Shiver Me Nipples! Also, a bonus: we got to name her dog Camo Toe. Last but not least we had Just Juan, who’s been running with us every so often since the earliest days of the VooDoo. And he still isn’t named, can you imagine that? We pulled this sinner into the circle and had his girlfriend Haf-Wax tells us all his most embarrassing stories, which involved urine way too often, for one thing (and yes, Wee-Blow Master’s camera just happened to catch him in the background “adjusting” himself). We had some great suggestions bounced around, like Polly Pissy Pants or Wet Dreams, and the final winner was Nocturnal Pisscharge! Congrats to all the newly baptised hashers!

Whew, that was a lot of work, all that naming! I think it’s time for a cold beer…

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

P.S. When you sausages get named, don’t forget to change your name on HashSpace, and if you’re not on HashSpace, give someone your email and they’ll shoot you an invite. Also, give Pastor Bait-Her your email if you want him to change how your name appears on the weekly Evite.

P.P.S. Tomorrow while you wankers are hashing I’ll be northbound on I-85 somewhere. Y’all had better look me up if you’re ever around Boston. It’s been real, and I hope to come see you all again real soon!

My name is Jack (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I’m a Necrophiliac (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I fuck dead women (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
And I fill ‘em full of jism (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I get frustrated (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
When they’re cremated (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
‘Cause try as you must (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
You can’t fuck dust!

So there you go – don’t say I never do anything for you.

Hares: Licks ‘Em Young  and Just Jarvis (Virgin Lay!)
When: October 29th, 6:30 pm
Where: Rosedale Dr. and City Park Ave. Park on City Park Ave. – not in Delgado’s parking lot.
Theme: Halloween / Zombie / Necrophilia

As always, the hash costs $1 and a six pack. If you don’t bring beer, we’ll look at you funny, and reluctantly accept $6 instead. If you don’t bring a flashlight and a whistle, well, it’s Halloween week. Nobody will find you for a while.

Man, just when you thought you’d caught your breath from the non-stop onslaught that was Red Dress Week, here comes Hashoween!* Here’s a quick run-through of what’s going on:

Thursday Oct. 29th: Cemetery Hash!

Hares: Licks ‘Em Young and Just Jarvis. Regular hash “rules” ($1 + 6-pack). Meet at Rosedale Dr. and City Park Avenue at 6:30, hares off at 7.  Park on City Park Ave. – not in Delgado’s parking lot.

Saturday Oct. 31st (Halloween): 2nd Anal Costume Pub Crawl

“Hared” by Tidy Bowl Man, Montana Boy Toy and Just Kim. Meet up at Molly’s at the Market at 5. This isn’t so much a hash, as a parade. A GODDAMNED PARADE IN OCTOBER! Do we need a reason? Hell No! NOH3 will be there, and accepting $5 for keg-on-wheels access. Make sure you bring plenty of cash for the planned and unplanned barstops. Remember: No Coolers, No Snack Kitty, No Beertruck to store your crap! No money collected – so no bitching! This is a costumed parade! Tidy Bowl says he might have an award for Best Costume.

Sunday Nov. 1st (Dia de los Muertos): 2nd Anal Black Dress Run!

Hared by Pastor Bait-Her and Tidy Bowl Man. Meet up at 3pm at the neutral ground at Elysian Fields and Chartres – right by the Old New Orleans Rum building (formerly the Schoen FUNeral Home!). Usual hash “rules” ($1, 6-pack), and YOU MUST WEAR A BLACK DRESS! This ain’t no blue tank top run or a comfy sweater run, it’s the VooDoo’s damned Black Dress Run! I will make one exception though – if you haven’t gone home and are still wearing your costume from Halloween night, I will allow that. That is all!

 
More details to be posted as the events draw closer – this is just more of a heads-up all in one convenient location. Aren’t I just so gorram nice?

*Note: this isn’t an organized, RDR-sized monster event. I just felt like making a graphic, so hurry up and make with the biting of me.