Somebody told me there’s some kind of convention this weekend.

Date: Thursday, January 26, 2012

Theme: Comics, sci-fi, video games, etc.
Start: Louis Armstrong Park – 901 North Rampart Street, New Orleans, LA
Time: 6:30pm assemble the starfleet, 7:00pm beam me up Scotty
Hares: White Girl Wasted & Second Cumming
Cost: $1 (no coins) and a 6 pack
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, and a goddamn costume

Lies from the hare: “If you are planning to come to Campout and you haven’t hashed in weeks or months, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! This week’s trail is a “no excuses” trail, meaning it is relatively short, dog-friendly, mostly stroller-friendly, and there’s no excuse why you shouldn’t be there!”

Date: Thursday, December 15, 2011

Theme: Fall Masquerade – in the spirit of unseemly behavior: unescorted women, lewd men, general debauchery, assignations and philandry. A mask is required!
Start: East side of the St. Louis Cathedral @ Jackson Square – St. Ann St and Chartres St. approximately
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm go
Hares: Dick’s a Flava & Fried Chicken Snatch
Cost: $1 (no coins plz) and a 6 pack (bring more if you plan to drink more)
Bring: A mask, duh. Plus your whistle, flashlight, change of clothes/jacket for circle (unless the weather warms up again). Also– NO GLASS ALLOWED ON THE STREET so bring cans, and/or a drinking vessel if you prefer a bottled beverage.

You know what? You’d be right. But those guys are little bitch-ass girly-men compared to sherpas. Not only do they do the same hike, but guess what? They carry /all/ the gear that those rich-ass white guys need to ascend the mountain. And double guess what? This week’s trail is hared by some sherpa dudes from the Himalayan H8 who aren’t afraid to carry 500lbs of flour around downtown.

Move over, Chuck Norris.

Hares: The Himalayan H8
Theme: Sherpa! (or, just hash attire)
Location: Esplanade and Decatur, by the Old Mint
Time: Thursday, November 18th. 6:30pm Show. 7pm, Go!

View Larger Map

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle! If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

Udderly RiTiTulous

and

Pastor Bait-Her

On Thursday evening

May 25th at 6:30

Washington Square

Appropriate attire required*

followed by trail, on-in, and on-after

*Wedding hashes are typically a cross-dressing event, so break out your black dresses fellas and your tuxedo tees, ladies.

Hares: Pastor Bait-Her and Udderly RiTiTulous
Theme: Wedding
Pre-Lube: DBA – 618 Frenchmen
Start: Washington Square – Royal and Frenchmen
Time: 6:30pm

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then bring $10, you ugly bastard. If you continue to not bring beer, then you STILL pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

That’s gotta be my favorite gay joke, outside of Richard Simmons! Zing!

Ok, no more bad jokes. This week’s hash will be led by the VooDoo’s two leading experts on gaydom: Pusti Malaka and Just Payton.

And me.

So come on down to the Quarter this week for a trip down the ole’ Hershey Highway – it’s bound to be a gay old time.

Oh, and I ran across this video in one of the scummy recesses of the ‘net, hope you enjoy:

Theme: Gay Bash – girls in flannel, guys in drag or leotards or rainbows, etc etc
Location: Armstrong Park Entrance (St. Ann at Rampart)
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Pusti Malaka, Just Peyton, and Pastor Bait-Her

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then bring $10, you ugly bastard.

So, it’s been a whole week since the New Year has begun. Some argue it’s a new decade but who really gives a shit, I mean, really. Most of you made some sort of resolution to change blah blah blah or quit doing this or that. But, I know you, you’re hashers. You were probably doing that thing you hate right before you went to bed at 6am on Jan. 1^st.

But, I digress, you shouldn’t be ashamed that you’re weak and you ate a whole rum cake because there wasn’t any alcohol in your roommates liquor cabinet.  Or because that douchey dude or annoying chick you were never going to talk to again is in your bathroom taking a shower and using your loofah as you are reading this. Why? Because you get to be whatever you hate for this weeks hash! That’s right, dress up as Douchey Magee and temp fate, show those fried turkey bacon ranch poboys that you’re not gonna take their shit anymore and you’re gonna keep eating them cause they taste good. New Years resolutions were made to be broken so show up as yours and embrace the suck that is your life.

We’re gonna be meeting at the park in front of Landry’s in the Quarter, 400 N. Peters. Wee Blow might  be at work, so he will probably just stare out the window at us and be jealous because he already broke his resolution that he is coming to the hash more often.

Somebody better show up as a whistle or a flashlight because you clowns always forget them and should have made a resolution about that.

I resolved to lay some seriously shitty trails, because mine are always so awesome. Just like me.

- Dickie Wongstockings

Hares: Dickie Wong and Just Sarah
When: 6:30pm, Jan 7th
Where: The park in front of  Landry’s Seafood in the quarter (N. Peters and Conti)
Theme: broken new years resolutions
Costs: $1 and a Six-Pack. Bring a six pack, I’m tired of running out of beer. And bring a flashlight and a gorram whistle, or be one.

Man, just when you thought you’d caught your breath from the non-stop onslaught that was Red Dress Week, here comes Hashoween!* Here’s a quick run-through of what’s going on:

Thursday Oct. 29th: Cemetery Hash!

Hares: Licks ‘Em Young and Just Jarvis. Regular hash “rules” ($1 + 6-pack). Meet at Rosedale Dr. and City Park Avenue at 6:30, hares off at 7.  Park on City Park Ave. – not in Delgado’s parking lot.

Saturday Oct. 31st (Halloween): 2nd Anal Costume Pub Crawl

“Hared” by Tidy Bowl Man, Montana Boy Toy and Just Kim. Meet up at Molly’s at the Market at 5. This isn’t so much a hash, as a parade. A GODDAMNED PARADE IN OCTOBER! Do we need a reason? Hell No! NOH3 will be there, and accepting $5 for keg-on-wheels access. Make sure you bring plenty of cash for the planned and unplanned barstops. Remember: No Coolers, No Snack Kitty, No Beertruck to store your crap! No money collected – so no bitching! This is a costumed parade! Tidy Bowl says he might have an award for Best Costume.

Sunday Nov. 1st (Dia de los Muertos): 2nd Anal Black Dress Run!

Hared by Pastor Bait-Her and Tidy Bowl Man. Meet up at 3pm at the neutral ground at Elysian Fields and Chartres – right by the Old New Orleans Rum building (formerly the Schoen FUNeral Home!). Usual hash “rules” ($1, 6-pack), and YOU MUST WEAR A BLACK DRESS! This ain’t no blue tank top run or a comfy sweater run, it’s the VooDoo’s damned Black Dress Run! I will make one exception though – if you haven’t gone home and are still wearing your costume from Halloween night, I will allow that. That is all!

 
More details to be posted as the events draw closer – this is just more of a heads-up all in one convenient location. Aren’t I just so gorram nice?

*Note: this isn’t an organized, RDR-sized monster event. I just felt like making a graphic, so hurry up and make with the biting of me.

Like many VDH3 hashes, this event is themed! You should wear the traditional all white clothes with red sashes, just like if you were in Spain for their traditional bull run.

The event starts at 6:30am at the the Three Legged Dog on the corner of Burgundy and Conti in the French Quarter, and the run starts at 8am sharp! The bulls are none other than the Big Easy Rollergirls on rollerskates armed with plastic bats and the fury of a woman scorned. One of our own, Just Bea (in rollerderby circles, she’s Beatrix sKiddo), will be in those numbers. So if she sees you, trust me, she’ll get you. Just look at what happened to Muddy Bollocks last year:

Ok, so it’s a picture of what is about to happen. And that isn’t even Just Bea – it’s a rollergirl called “Ibeatya Amber”. You get the idea.

Anyways, there’s no cover, just buy or bring your own drinks! Hope to see y’all there – it’s lots of fun! For more info, go to http://nolabulls.com/sanfermin/

¡Viva ze bool!

View Larger Map