Date: Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Theme: BLACK, LIKE MY SOUL.
Start: St. Roch Tavern – 1200 Saint Roch Ave, New Orleans, LA
Time: 6:00pm gather the mourners, 6:30pm bring out your dead *EARLY START TIME*
Hares: Tidy Bowl Man & Fill Me Up
Cost: $1 (no coins, please) and a 6 pack (bring more than 6 beers if you plan to drink more than 6 beers).
Bring: A flashlight and your prettiest black frock. …Seriously, show up in a damn dress or GTFO.

If you remember last year we were short of beer at the end! To fix this problem we are going to stop at many a bar. So things to bring; A dollar (no coins, for rego),  a six pack (minimum), cash or something to use as a bar currency, a flash light, and a whistle. And new this week a photo ID to prove that you are of the legal drinking age. I hate to be a dick about this, but if you are not 21 you CAN NOT RUN with us, we are doing this because we don’t want out of town guests getting in trouble for you doing something stupid, and we are going to bars.

So to get to the fun stuff:

Time: 6:30 show, 7:00 GEUAX (aka: go)

Location: Esplanade neutral ground outside of the Mint (for out of townees look below)

Hares: Fill Me Up and Swamp Gravy

Theme: … do I really have to put this?

Keeping up with tradition, we will have a Voodoo ceremony on Bayou St. John during the hash. Wear all white this week. Cum help us celebrate! Get your ass to the hash. Bring a 6 pack, $1, and be ready to fucking hash! It’s the 200th hash motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hares: TidyBowlMan, Fill Me Up, Mystery Hare
Theme: Voodoo Ceremony Attire (All white)
When: Thursday, June 23rd, 6:30pm show, 7:00pm geaux!
Where: Bridge in Bayou St. John, in front of Cabrini High School, 1400 Moss Street, New Orleans, LA

Bring: $1 and a 6-pack. whistle, flashlight, and some cash for a t-shirt ($10).

I would like the Voodoo hash to please come and bring monies (whatever amount is fine) so that it can be pooled and donated to the event. NOH3 will be making an awesome heavty donation and although our hash doesn’t have as much monies, we can still show some group support. My lovely fiancee will be having his head and FINALLY his beard shaved along with some other shavees. His band will then play after the shavings and there is NO COVER. This is becoming a very huge event that helps do some really great things in the name of children’s cancer research.

SOOOOOOOOO, come on out wankers and come support a GREAT cause plus you get to drink for free, for all you moochers out there.

Fill Me Up

Princess Bunk Bunk Whooooops

The trail was cold, wet, and douchey. So we all know what it felt like to be Cold Wet Douche, who in fact was sick and still made it out one of shiggiest trail laid by hares, Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish. There’s no excuse for the lame hashers who whined about the cold and stayed home.  The weather was in the low 30s with icy winds that felt like a million knife cuts and with sleet to follow.  The trail felt like we were preparing for Warrior Dash minus the fire jumping part. Let me mentally paint this picture for you of what took place. We were greeted with a 10 foot drop from a muddy cliff and once we hopped down uninjured, the journey got intense.  We cursed when we got caught in thorny paths, cursed when we fell (I did at least), cursed when we had to plow through the trail with our 5lbs of mud caked on our shoes, cursed when we almost lost our shoe, cursed when we had to one by one scale a fence to cross over a mini ravine, cursed when we were caught in barbwires, cursed that we had to crawl under fence, cursed when it started raining and cursed when we couldn’t find trail. We would curse more at Everything Butt Sex if he made us crawl through a rank sewer if Starfish didn’t talk him out of it.  When it was all over and the incessant cursing ceased, realization sets in.  It was one of the most challenging and rewarding hashes to encounter (with the exception of the Lake P swim which only one person and two hares completed).  Shiggy trail are few and far between these days since we don’t really have much of a terrain except for obstacles like New Orleans’ potholes and vehicles.  Future hares, we dare you to get creative and make sure it’s legal…(a’hem, Zombieland) By the way, Starfish and EBS finally got all of us wet. Great teamwork. On after got moved to Parlay’s and got interesting as some hashers found the diva in them at karaoke night. Oh and this is Eyes Up Here’s idea of representing Wu Tang Clan. Is that a W or a heart?

On-On,

TWOT

Eyes Up Here is a Care Bear!

I gotta admit, when Puppy Love Machine said we were running in the East, I was so nervous you would have thought I was walking backwards in a dildo testing facility with no pants on. You may think I’m over exaggerating, but I noticed Puppy and Just Corey didn’t take the risk of bringing pet dog Nomi by any of the Vietnamese restaurants last night. At first everyone was afraid of just disappearing in the Ghetto, but by the end of the trail, hashers were more afraid of alligators and not so random zombie attacks.

Puppy Love Machine needs a bit of tutorial when it comes to laying trail or we should listen better at chalk talk. Personally, we should get a personalized how-to manual. This is probably what would go in Puppy’s manual:

• BN stands for Beer Near which one goes searching around the parameter for it.
• (ex. SN is Shots Near) In this case, we were expecting beer truck since Voodoo hashers associate BN to beer truck. Poor untouched 12 pack left in the dust.
• BC is Beer Check. The beer visible to the eye. Hence, beer truck
• Whichy Way – his first mark is essentially 3 blocks away
• 5lbs flour apparently is enough for a 4.5 mile run. I think we had 5 lbs of flour used during chalk talk and about 5 dots of flour on trail.
• Hash mark can be thrown on trees but in this case, throw it high enough so that IME can’t even find it.

Thankfully, the first ½ of the 4 mile trail kept everyone together even though they were brewing with frustration, confusion, and regret. After the necessary “We’re lost” phone calls to beer hares Jizz Rag and Cocka-booty-boo, we ran forever down some desolate service road to the Beer Check which was near an abandoned amusement park once known as Jazzland. TWOT almost puked running for her life from an imaginary gator or a mutant nutria rat when she heard rustling along the levee that separated the swamp from the road. The hares went of to lay the final trail and had all of us running around like kids without parents in a post-apocalyptic playground, as we ran inside and around the park in our version of “zombieland.” Hashers slowed down to play around the bumper cars, swinging on the swings and hearing Enough All Ready saying she got her best cock from Peter Pan. In the meanwhile, a few eagle hashers found the On In and took the opportunity to use the flour sitting next to Just Corey’s car and gave it good caking. Big mistake, young hare! (Note: Hares. Never leave your flour unattended!)

Inside the park, there was a huge playground with 6 different slides coming out from all angles. Bumbletard had the urge to climb up inside and as he reached the top, he surprisingly discovered a 12 pack hidden by the hares. The hasher A.D.D. kicks in and said “Fuck trail, shiny beer up there!” We all managed to pile in and sang merrily to hash songs. On In was just outside the park entrance and we were greeted by the friendly cops who really were looking for drag racers. We safely ended up where we started for our circle and BB Dyke probably had his brain frozen as he make a gallant attempt to run circle with the assistance of Fill Me Up. There were three virgins in the East! Just Mark, Just Felicia, and Just Casey toughed it out for one of the most memorable runs to go down in Voodoo history. Just James was awarded his vessel and fucked up by pre-cumming before his song was sung. Speaking of songs, EBS brought in his handy dandy pocket sized songbook to help out the brain farts. Kudos to Chum Dumpster running over 50 hashes and major kudos to Puppy for bringing warm blankets to thaw out our appendages.

NEWS

Fill Me Up has been up to no good.
You bring it, she screens it. If you bring any piece of clothing, she’ll get it screened with the Voodoo logo. The cost is $5. A small screen, a big screen, front, back whatever. If you want one, two, three or whatever screens. It’s $5 per shirt. The screen is only available in white. Shirts or jacket. No book bags, hillbilly shorts, hot pants, banana hammocks (I’m looking at you Bumbletard). $5 per shirt. The clothing is due by February 3rd. You can bring it to the hash earlier if you want.

She is also scoping out campsites for the Voodoo Camp Out this year. The cost hasn’t been set yet. It’s on the weekend of April fools. We’re looking for hares. We need them for Friday night, Saturday, and a Sunday hangover hash. If you want to hare any of those hashes, let me (Everything Butt Sex) know. Also, if anyone wants to hare a midnight hash, let me know. I’m also going to start looking into games we can play for the hash Olympics.

We need one (maybe a couple?) of hashers who want to take on the responsibility of song mister/song mistress. The job entails finding or creating hash songs and bringing them to circle each week. Half-Mind’s Song Book is located on his website. Warning, it’s a word document almost 800 pages long. It’s the most complete listing of hash songs I know of.

A bunch of you probably aren’t on Hashspace. This time of year when events start gearing up, you’ll see a lot more pictures and trash there. If you don’t have an account, e-mail voodoo.hash@gmail.com and we’ll send you an invite. Pictures of last night’s run will appear there.

Next week we’ll be in Gretna hoping that Bunk Bunk WHOOPS! and Bumbletard can put on a good show. The theme is “Da Westbank Bra.” Bunk Bunk’s virgin lay is over there to accommodate all you wankers who can’t come hash because of a little cold weather. For a group of fucking degenerates who probably like ice in or around their genitals ya’ll are some pussy little bitches when it comes to the cold. Get your asses out to the hash! FMU is bringing hash attire to sell so bring your pocket change. Also, we want to get another order of happi coats. They are $40 dollars and we currently have about 8 people out of the 15 needed.

Voodoo & NOH3 Cumming together 6pm TONIGHT
This Friday 1/14/11
Twelve Mile Limit Bar
500 S. Telemachus St.
New Orleans, LA. 70119
It is a block off of Banks St. (which makes it One Block from Finn Mc Cools)  Between Banks and Tulane!

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex and Teeny “Wiggly” On Top

So last night Wax On Whacks Off and Just Aaron “Eyes up here” took us on a long predictably lay through Mid City and City Park area. I’m pretty sure Whacks off laid a similar trail on his virgin lay not tooo long ago if I remember correctly, that cemetery looked verrry familiar…. but with 8 lays a week who can remember anymore. Only complaint heard was that Chum and Dickie wanted more Rugby Girls on Trail. Boys, those Rugby girls are more manly than you two could ever be. Fill Me Up finally found Beer Near and was rewarded with Jell-O Shots after following a false BN that wasn’t laid by our hares and didn’t lead to any beer! What! No Beer! That should be illegal!

Some shortcutting Wankers tried to get a jump start on trail after BN and got caught. For punishment, Pastor Bait-Her made BrokeBack Dyke experience I.M.E. in ways only he can dream of. BrokeBack Dyke must love doing Down-Downs because like a bad case of herpes, he just couldn’t stay away. Not only did he get called out for FRB with TWOT but they also got called out for stealing hash beer after last week’s trail. Don’t mess with our beer or you’ll suffer the consequences.

Fill Me Up called Pastor into circle for losing his Happy Coat back in March! It has made its way to Texas and who knows where else since going M.I.A. Who’s got pictures?

Congratulations to Just Aaron for finally getting named “Eyes Up Here” after the tons of stupid shit this Wanker has pulled. He’s a hasher, he’s true blue. He’s a hasher through and through.

Next week Everything Butt Sex, Baby Facial and Princess Lay-Ya are taking us on a time warp back to the 80’s which apparently can be found in Metairie behind Chili’s. Who knew? So break out those side ponytails, legwarmers, and sweatbands and get your beer drinking asses out to Metairie! Maybe next week Puppy Love Machine won’t forget the ice chests.

On-On,
8 Lays a week

Reminders:
· Skin Whistle and Dry Hole’s Wedding Hash on Sept 16th
· September 18th is Gulf Coast H3 500th hash. (Mobile, AL) gch3.org
· October 1-3 is the Texas Crab Hash texascrabhash.com

Helping to prepare you for Saturday’s red sea of insanity, your hares Fill Me Up and T.W.O.T. will be taking you on a run through the Marigny!

Meet-up is at Washington Square – on the neutral ground (median for you wankers) on Elysian Fields, 6:30, and the hares will take off at 7.

We WILL be stopping at several bars, so make sure you clowns bring some cash for the bar stops! You still need to bring your $1 and a six-pack

I think there’s something I’m forgetting … what could it be… OH YEAH!

WEAR A RED SKIRT or you’re not fucking running and we get to keep your beer!

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

Actually, I’m not sure what that means – anyone care to help a brother out?

It’s a Mardi Gras / Royalty themed hash. I know, we just had a hash the other week that was carnival themed, but ’tis the season, right? I mean, we only have Mardi Gras for a few weeks out of the year – did you know that children in China don’t even have a Mardi Gras? Not even one day!

If for no other reason, do it for the children.

And, by the way, I expected this from Missionary Impossible, Not Fill Me Up – she picked the ONE place in New Orleans that doesn’t have an address. Way to Suck, FMU.
Mardi Gras Fountain is on Lakeshore Dr., halfway between Canal Blvd and Marconi Dr.

Theme: “Royal” pain in the hash. Come dressed in Royal, Mardi Gras, or hash attire. There are no excuses for anyone not to have hash attire. Hash necklaces don’t count.
Location: Mardi Gras Fountain on Lakeshore Dr.
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Fill Me Up

Bring a dollar and a six pack and if you’re too lazy to pick up beer, you betta have $6 and a really good reason for being a wanker. Oh yeah, make sure you bring a great attitude so you don’t piss Fill Me Up off. There will be a couple of surprises at this hash, so come out and have a great time.

Wow. I really can’t believe it’s been 100 hashes already. Thinking back through just my tenure as RA makes me think a montage is appropriate, so here we go:

Huh. As it turns out, I didn’t feel like sitting down and spending a few hours combing through pictures for you ingrates, so I went with the 30 second solution and embedded a MANtage. I think we’re all the better for it anyways.

Okay, enough with that, let’s get down to the issue at had – this week’s hash.

Since 100 is a big number, we decided that we needed about 1/20th dedicated to the hares. That’s right, our hares this week are TidyBowlMan, WeeBlowMaster, Fill Me Up, and 2 super-surprise hares. For good measure, we’ll even throw in Oral Impression as a beer hare at no extra cost!

Since this is the 100th lay, break out your coconut bras, grass skirts, tiki mugs, hell – you can even bring hula hoops. Actually, scratch that last one. No hula hoops. We’ll start on “Tips on Tchoupitoulas…” and since this is an A to B with transport provided back to the A, who the hell knows where we’ll end up.

Also, if you want a shirt that has the graphic above, talk to WeeBlow Master! He’ll have them at the hash, but there aren’t many left and it won’t be reprinted.

Hares: Tidy Bowl Man, Wee Blow Master, Fill Me Up, 2 super secret hares.
When: October 1st, 6:30 pm
Where: Tipitina’s – Napoleon at Tchoupitoulas
Theme: Hawaiian / Lei’d

$1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you suck and don’t bring any beer. As always, don’t be the 1% that doesn’t bring your flashlight and a whistle!