We’re meeting in the giant field behind Sake Cafe and Houston’s. Before that, we’re pre-lubing at the daiquiri shop next door. Get your Chuck Taylor’s and remember to pump your high tops before trail this week. It’ll be a thriller.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex.

Hares: Everything Butt Sex, BabyFacial (Born again Virgin Lay), Princess Lay-ya (Virgin Lay)
Theme: 80s
Location: Behind the Mall (Sake Cafe). 4201 Veterans Blvd. Metairie, LA, 70006
Time: Thursday, September 2nd. 6:30pm Show. 7pm Go!
Pre-Lube: The Daiquiri shop in the parking lot behind Houston’s (Houma and Vets).

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

All these goals might be asking to much of us.  Quite frankly, we don’t give a fuck. It’s our day, and we’re leading you wanking sausages through Lakeview. We’re changing shit up. The first part of trail is one mile. We don’t have any god damn checks, shitty whichys, fucking YBFs or even a beautiful beer near.

We know what you’re thinking. Holy wanking day batman! No beer near? That is sacrilegious! How can we have a hash without a beer near? Well hashers we’re upgrading the beer near to a pool near! Leave the electronics and wallets at home. This week’s theme requires a bathing suit or a birthday suit! Either way kiddos, it’s our birthday and we don’t plan on leaving until every last hasher is nice and wet.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

P.S. Join us for an on after and help us not remember a bunch of decisions we’ll regret the next day. It’s our birthday!

P.S.S. Next week’s theme is Christmas in July. TidyBowlMan, Bumbletard,  and Just Aaron wants everyone to bring a gift for that White Elephant game, or whatever it is ya’ll call it.

Theme: Happy Birthday! Birthday suit or bathing suit.
Hares: Lick A Lotta Cock (Virgin Lay), BabyFacial (Virgin Lay) and Everything Butt Sex
Start: Lakeshore Dr.
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

As for the hash virgins, one couldn’t handle it, and quit before anyone finished, a second virgin came late. One of the needle dick virgins managed to cut a hole in the slip n slide at beer near. The others fucked through mud, like champions, without protection for about 3 miles. Seriously, I can’t believe no one called me out for not making sure the virgins had proper boots for what they were about to endure. The trail ran through shitty park. Hashers were running into each other, and were lost in the woods until they found the jello shots hidden, on trail, on one of the few hills in New Orleans.

With all the cherry popping going on last night, I’d like to remind everyone of the Voodoo Song Book. If you want more songs, feel free to use the Googles.

Next week’s run is going to be uptown, hared by Veteran DickieWong Stockings, and virgin hare Texticle Teaser! Get your asses out there!

Finally a special shout out goes out to Bumbletard, who managed to get his car stuck in the mud, and A Little Prick for opening a tab at Parlay’s after the On-In.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex.

High above the virgin’s garter
High above her knee
Lies the secret of her honorHer virginityRoll her over, oh so softlyGently in the grass.This is what we live and die for,Piece of virgin ass.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

WE’VE GOT VIRGINS
Melody – Frere Jacques

We’ve got virgins,
We’ve got virgins,
At our hash,
At our hash,
Gonna get’em drunked up,
Gonna get’em fucked up,
Down the hatch,
Up the ass,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

Theme: Summer Fling. Beach attire.. Leave the cell phone at home!!!
Hares: 8 Lays a week (Virgin Lay) and Everything Butt Sex
Start: 870 Harrison Avenue New Orleans, LA 70124-3157 (Parlay’s)
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!
Pre-Lube: Parlay’s
On-After: Parlay’s

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

On On,
Everything Butt Sex

Get your loaded dice and marked deck of cards out you group of wankers. Even if you have to lie, cheat, and steal, there is no reason for you to leave this hash without getting a little lucky!!!!

This week’s run has us meeting up at Blain Kern’s Mardi Gras world in the Warehouse district. You know the place. It’s where that Poseidon Statue is raping that giant gator pass door J at the end of the convention center.

Theme: Gambling, luck of the draw

Hares: UnderCummer (Virgin Lay?) & Hobo Rodeo
Start: Henderson St. & 1400 Tchoupitoulas New Orleans, LA 70130
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

On On,

Everything Butt Sex

Theme: Video Games
Hares: Game Ovaries & TidyBowlMan
Start: 6325 Elysian Fields Avenue, New Orleans, LA 70122-4235
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

Theme: Wizard of Oz.
Hares: Just Sarah (Virgin Lay) and Chicken Pot Guy (Rusty Lay)
Start: 601 Gallier Street, New Orleans, LA‎
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!
Pre-lube: ???

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

You’re $40 covers a park donation, food, beer, and gimmies for the hash. Gimmies are only available for hashers who sign up by June 3rd. We also have $25 no gimmie option. Food and beer will be provided, Saturday, the day of the hash only. We have an optional camp out on the nights of the 11th and 12th. TidyBowlMan will be at the campsite at 2pm on Friday the 11th. Camping is free, but you must bring your own food, beer, and shelter for the two nights.

Things to bring: Money, hats, sunblock, shiggy socks, dry clothes, tent, sunglasses(cheap) bug spray extra beer, food for you, lawn chair, towels, bathing suits, and anything else that you can think of Tarp, booths, clean shoes, fuck the clothes, but bring condoms. Especially that Trojan Extacy brand. I’m being serious, if I’m in a bind and someone throws me one of those Lifestyles they give away at the free clinic there will be consequences and repercussions. Fuck all you wankers soon!

On-On!,
Everything Butt Sex

Hares: TidyBowlMan & a Guest Hare!
Location: Louisiana Renaissance Fair Grounds 46468 River Road Hammond, LA 70401
Theme: We’re “ Cumming together, not coming apart!”
Cost: $40.00 or $25 (without gimmies) or 30.00 same day (no gimmie)
Date: Saturday, June 12th, 2010
Time: 12:00 PM meet, 2:00 go!
Send money via PayPal – ononfrb@hotmail.com

Please note that if you register SAME DAY! You are NOT Guaranteed Gimmes!

Directions: WWW.LAFG.ORG

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT WE HAVE BOUNDARIES IN WHICH WE MUST STAY IN, ON THESE GROUNDS. YOUR ATTENDANCE TO THIS EVENT WAIVES ANY AND ALL PERSONS RELATED TO THE GROUNDS AND ALL HASH GROUPS FROM RECOVER OF ANY FINANCIAL MATTERS DUE TO STUPIDITY, INJURY, LODGING, TRANSPORTATION AND/OR ARREST! THE ROAD AROUND THE PERIMETER OF THESE GROUNDS ARE OUR BORDERS AND WE MUST STAY WITHIN THEM. THERE ARE PLENTY OF HUNTERS OTHERWISE!. YOUR PAYMENT TO THIS EVENT MEANS THAT YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS WARNING!
TidyBowlMan-HiPriestVDH3

It’s Cold Wet Douche’s Virgin lay, and it will be better than the shitty trails you usually run. That’s right, he has never laid anything before. He hasn’t gotten wet or gone down on trail. He doesn’t even know how long it is. How do we know he’ll run a good trail? Well, we don’t, but he will have Everything Butt Sex and TWOT co-haring. That’s right you wankers, the bottom loving dynamic duo will be showing this virgin how to lay it right. So be calm and enjoy the ride because all of these southern body part orientated hares will make the ass raping of tax season feel good all over mid-city. There might be shiggy. Since you won’t be wearing much clothing, we’ll OK the use of protection on trail. If you want to be a true hasher and stay with the theme, just run really close to hasher in front of you.

Since TWOT loves to flash her panties and moon people at times, this theme is inevitably most “fitting”. She will make sure that her bottom loving co-hares Butt Sex and Douche won’t disappoint. Since we all left the good pair of unmentionables at someone else’s house right before the walk of shame, we have to resort to having to wear our shit stained underwear w/ holes till we get a stimulus check.

I don’t know what’s scarier, 45 half naked people running through New Orleans or whatever a hasher has that he thinks is unmentionable.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

Bonus Joke: What does douche, TWOT, and butt sex have in common? Used KY.

Theme: Naked and broke
Hares: Cold Wet Douche, T.W.O.T, Everything Butt Sex, Urine Jail (Beer hare)
Start: Canal St. and Carrolton Ave (Wal-greens)
Time: 6:30 show, 7:00 Go!
Pre-lube: Red Door. Walking distance from Wal-greens.

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming. If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER

Flash forward to April Fool’s day, Indicksion (that dead hare bitch) was caught pre-laying trail and being an over achieving bastard by running extra laps around Audubon park at the beer near while everyone else was consuming alcohol. For an April fool’s prank, all the harriers and harrierettes piled into a couple of trucks at the beer near and rode back to the On-In and continued drinking and singing hash songs. Meanwhile, back on trial, Indicksion and Dickie WongStockings ran a couple of miles laying flour for no one to follow.

Then circle happened. Who knew so many virgins lived in Marrero? I being cereal bra. Why would Cold Wet Douche bring new shiny boots? I realize you need to add flavor to bud light, but there has to be a better way. Who could have guessed Pick Up Fuck would cum late again? At least this time she wasn’t caught, on her knees, with her mouth inside Grandpa’s feet’s underwear…AGAIN. I’m going to have to remember that necklace hiding trick he has. Most importantly, we named our longest running “Just” in the hash. Hench forth, Just Kim will now be known as Shitty Titty Gang Bang and Just Barbie will now be known as UnderCummer.

NEXT WEEK – We have a special hasher visiting the city. See you wankers on Thursday. ON-ON,
Everything Butt Sex

Here is a link to the songs passed out last week. Also, check out the Voodoo SongBook

tl;dr pastor udderly married, hashers skipped trail for April fool’s; pick up fuck cums late, but often; douche drinks from his shoes; 4 namings – Shitty Titty Gang Bang, UnderCummer, Pump me Brewster, Urine Jail; visiting hasher.