What a clusterfuck last night was.  We waited over an hour for the elusive Butt Sex to CUM, after all the talk of how AWESOME this lay would be and how we would experience Butt Sex like we never had before….he didn’t even show up! So we decided to stick with the only tried and true way to CUM. However someone decided this way was with Bumbletard and lets just say his name pretty much describes how his trail was. Poor Just Sara, this was her virgin lay and not only was let down by Butt Sex but she also had to handle ‘Tard:

“Did they just tie the flour to a cat and let it loose to lay this trail?” – Missing Period.

As the hares ran off into campus we apparently weren’t paying attention and ran the trail completely backwards, forwards, sideways and Kris Krossed. Random YBF’s leading into brick walls and orange post-it notes that brought us into buildings but didn’t show us the way out? If I didn’t know any better I would have thought Helen Keller herself laid this trail. Wankers were blowing whistles every which way and it didn’t help that Enough Already kept confusing On-One with On-On! At one point we decided to fuck trail and just oogle Shit Candy and his amazing performance skills on a Pole…..too bad we forgot to tip our dancer and all got called out in circle and made to do some Down-Downs.

When we got to circle we realized that a lot of people couldn’t handle this lay and bailed out…. We started with 6-8 virgins and only ended up with 1 at the end. I think that in itself explains this trail. As we sung to our Virgins, Cock-A-Booty-Boo was ready with some well placed cue cards since apparently our Drunk Asses can’t remember a certain part of the Virgin Song:

We celebrated a milestone for Just Jenna last night. She passed some fancy tests and soon (possibly now) she’ll be doling out some prescriptions for you pill poppin’ wankers. To celebrate we made her show us her oral skills incase any special wankers want or need a physical from her.

Circle ended smoother than it began and I think we all learned a lesson from last night:

Beware, No one cums with Butt Sex.

On- On Bitches,

8 Lays A Week

• Halloween Hash: October 31st – 11am See Calendar for Details
• Black Dress Run: Nov. 1st – 6:30pm See Calendar for Details
• Cock-A-Booty-Boo has LA-Ren Fest tickets for cheap! First Served First to Cum!

Joining them was Cock a Booty Boo,
who recently given Everything Butt Sex the flu,
Lick a Lotta Cock showed up with steaks and champagne,
Until then, the pre-lube, had been midly tame.

We finally ventured on to the neutral ground of Miss Mae’s,
Where we found Lick A lotta Cock hashing with her tits on display.
She also wore black leather boots to the hash,
Pretty sure she was short a six pack and one dollar in cash.

TidyBowlMan was the sole hare,
Did I mention Lick A Lotta Cock’s tits were bare?
We did chalk talk, told dirty jokes, and a whistle started to race,
The ground was slippery and a couple of people fell on their face.
Slam Bam was accused of boy scouting on trail,
Turns out it was dark which lead to an epic fail,
You see, he thought the fallen hasher on all fours was a lamb.
Instantly a harriette was in a jam.
This was evident by the wet spot on Booty boo’s back
and the satisfied grin Slam Bam had after he stood up and adjusted his sack.

We talked about penis size vs vagina depth at the beer near,
A couple of the harriers braved the conversation with no fear.
About a third of the hash pee’d on trail,
This happens when everyone brings light beer instead of a good ale.

Onward to On-in we dashed
Circle and goodies was hosted by Kiss My Trash.

One at a time we left the site.
Twas a good hash and all had a good night.

- Everything Butt Sex