Our dear Brokeback Dyke is leaving us for the fine city (well, I assume it’s fine– I’ve never been there) of Aiken, SC. I found out from the archives of this website that he was named in March of 2010; that’s at least two years with the Voodoo, so let’s all gather to give him a proper farewell. Bye, Dyke!… Until the camp out, that is. You know you can’t get rid of him for too long! Until then– have fun with the Peach Fuzz H3 in Augusta, GA!

Date: Thursday, February 2, 2012

Theme: “Dykes”… Uh, I guess this means lots of Doc Martens and plaid flannel.
Start: Octavia St & General Pershing St, New Orleans, LA 70125
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm go
Hares: Brokeback Dyke
Cost: $1 (no coins) and a 6 pack (or more if you plan to drink more)
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, dental dams
Note: BRING WATER FOR YOUR DOGS. And keep them on a leash.

Important links:
1. Sign Up Here!
2. Offline registration form
3. Camp Out Itinerary
4. Camp Out Rules
5. Frequently asked Questions
6. Sign Up for Hash Olympic and Flip Cup teams

Cost is still only $69 until February 16th!

Somebody told me there’s some kind of convention this weekend.

Date: Thursday, January 26, 2012

Theme: Comics, sci-fi, video games, etc.
Start: Louis Armstrong Park – 901 North Rampart Street, New Orleans, LA
Time: 6:30pm assemble the starfleet, 7:00pm beam me up Scotty
Hares: White Girl Wasted & Second Cumming
Cost: $1 (no coins) and a 6 pack
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, and a goddamn costume

Lies from the hare: “If you are planning to come to Campout and you haven’t hashed in weeks or months, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! This week’s trail is a “no excuses” trail, meaning it is relatively short, dog-friendly, mostly stroller-friendly, and there’s no excuse why you shouldn’t be there!”

I would say this is the best time you can have while standing up, but chances are you’ll be spending some of it on your back. For those who haven’t been to the Voodoo campout before, this is 3 days and 2 nights of secluded hashing in the woods. There is beer, nudity, hashing, beer, drinking games, food, hashers cumming from all over the Gulf coast, beer, gimmies, and beer. For more information, well what happens at campout stays at campout. You’ll need to find some harrier or harrierette who’s been before; get them drunk; and/or tease them sexually so that they will spill the beans of yesteryear’s antics.

New to this year: We’re adding a tippy cup tournament Friday night! All you fucking kickballers are going to be on different teams so wipe that smirk off of you face right now!

Important Shit to know
We are capping the camp out at 100 people. Sign up in time you fucking wankers!
The last day to sign up is March 16th or 100 regos, whichever cums first.
We are not selling single day regos. It’s the entire weekend or nothing.

Cost: $69 until February 16th. Starting February 17th the price is $79. Regos officially close March 16th.
You can pay using cash or paypal. Personal checks need to be made out to cash.
When: Friday, March 30th – Sunday, April 1st
Where: Same place as last year. The renaissance festival grounds in Hammond, LA.

Date: Thursday, January 19, 2012

Theme: “Rubber Ducks, Dicks and Chicks… Have one, bring one or be one… Water might be involved… Quack!”
Start: Goodwill – 3400 Tulane Avenue, New Orleans, LA
Time: 6:30pm get your ducklings in a row, 7:00pm shake a tail feather
Hares: Tidy Bowl Man
Cost: $1 (no coins) and a 6 pack
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, and maybe a change of shoes/clothes if you aren’t a waterfowl.

Need a beer hare for this trail! Contact Tidy Bowl: danheidel@hotmail.com or 504-452-6776

From the woman who brought you the infamous “Ninjas vs. Niggas”, this week’s trail has a far less offensive theme. Este semana, la rubia Mexican Gum Job y el guapo Just Cameron son sus conejos. ¡Acción, aventura, misterio, romance, y por supuesto… las cervezas! (I only took 3 years of Spanish in high school, this is the best I can do.)

Date: Thursday, January 12, 2012

Theme: Cowboys y Banditas
Start: Rock ‘n Bowl (yes, like in the Voodoo Hash song) – 3000 S Carrollton Ave, New Orleans
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm out like a sperm from your papa’s pistola
Hares: Mexican Gum Job & Just Cameron
Cost: $1 (no coins, por favor) y 6 cervezas
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, train robbing equipment (ex: TNT, rope to tie up
hostages, red bandanas to cover your face)

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Happy New Year! You have a clean slate to sully up for 2012, so gear up hashers, since we have a full year of tampons-up-the-butt ahead of us.

First off, Jizz Rag is a terrible pace booty. White Girl Wasted fell on her booty 3 minutes into this trail.

Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish laid some terrible trail all along the Bayou last night. I hit not one, but two YBFs, and had to use technology to find out we were at least 1.5 miles from the first BN anyway. At the Mortuary!? I’ve never been so DFL in my life. We did enjoy watching a guy run sideways on a treadmill, who stopped as soon as we ran by and he realized he looked like a fool in the gym.

Half of the runners gave up on the second half of the trail when we ran into the walkers, and then we desecrated a couple of graves. Ass Burgler was accused of trail-pissing. Someone took a piss in circle. Voodoo Hash might have some bad juju coming its way, especially with Just Nkule taking photo-ops on fresh grave plots.

Circle produced one of the most interesting virgin sacrifices I’ve ever seen: Knave provided some lovely wine-soaked tampons for the poor bastard to suck on. He was nearly named Just Dirty Cotton Mouth after he threw it on the ground. Hashers not trashers, people. Tidy Bowl Man also presented us with Just Sean’s Lucidore mask and a 34A bra that apparently did not fit on Mexican Gum Job’s lovely rack. If you missed the flash, there’s plenty of free porn on the internet, but nothing beats beating it to a live show. Accusations were otherwise uneventful; we need to start acting up a bit more on trail to make circle interesting for the darn cold weather. Gum Job also got her 10 run candle this week, and Cock a Booty Boo also presented a few gris gris. We then got a guest performance from Spread ‘Em of monkey madness proportions.

On-After was generally quite tame, though I left early so who knows. A Lil Prick was all about buying Tin Roof’s Voodoo Beer, there was a live band in the back, and I realized that I wear bigger shoes than Tidy. Also, Bayou Beer Garden serves a damn good burger.

The end, until next time!
Just Rachel

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To celebrate the ringing in of 2012, Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish led us on a glorious re-hash (pun intended) of quite a few of 2011′s most memorable trails. We started off by the St. Louis Cemetery, and from there began a long series of deja vu moments for me. The first was crossing that damn bridge over Bayou St. John, I had flashbacks of the 200th trail. There were 3 marks after a YBF, which reminded me of the last White Girl Wasted / Reverse Cowboy trail. When we passed the bike shop, for a second I thought we were running that same Bumbletard 7-mile death march. Of course there was a good bit of gravel, which never fails to remind me of the trail Slam Bam Thank You Lamb/No Cunt Troll hared, where I broke in my brand new Vibram Five Fingers by running down train tracks for 2 fucking miles. There was another area we ran through that I know we had a beer stop at once before, I think last February, but too much alcohol has killed the brain cells that once held those memories. Too bad we didn’t end up lost by the river in waist-high “bog”, ’cause it would have nicely rounded out the evening.

We had virgins as FRB’s, so a lot of checks were kicked wrong or not kicked at all. I think these guys must have been given chalk talk by I.M.E. One time I shouted “RU?” and one of them, I swear to god, yelled “Yahtzee!”

After crossing Canal St. for the 669th time, we finally reached the beer stop. As we stood around and the minutes passed, a few of us noted that about 2/3 of the pack was missing. Slowly, they trickled in. A few people cited lack of flour. Which I knew was a false accusation, because the blobs I saw were like white elephant turds, practically incandescent in the street lamps. (Some of y’all need to TAKE NOTE and learn how to throw down flour, it ain’t like dusting a cupcake… but I digress.) Butt Sex reveals that they did not fully scout trail, and ended up running into a fence. “Didn’t you see the true trail arrow? it was on a wooden pallet so I could turn it in the direction that trail was actually going.” Yeah… nope. Eventually the stragglers showed up, and we could continue on.

Second half of trail was short. As usual, the FRB’s find true trail and neglect to kick the checks/whichy’s or blow whistles or really make any fucking sounds whatsoever. After running through Greenwood Cemetery (a severe lack of zombies on this Tour-de-Every Goddamn Cemetery in Mid-city) we ended up at on-in by yet another motherfucking cemetery, near Delgado. Halfway through circle, Chum Dumpster arrives in a car, looking rather triumphant for being DFL. Turns out this overachieving bastard ran all the way to City Park and stumbled upon Spread ‘Em, who was car-hashing. They had to navigate to the end following the sounds of our songs echoing through the neighborhood.

P.S. Knave, for God only knows what reason (and I’m sure God Herself doesn’t even want to know) brought tampons soaked in alcohol. One of the virgins– whose name escapes me but I’m bad with names ANYWAY– walked into circle and immediately dropped his pants (I guess he heard there was gonna be Butt Sex on this trail) then did a down-down by sucking the alcohol out of said tampon. When called back into circle, he voluntarily did it AGAIN. Y’all keep the name ‘Cottonmouth’ in your memory holes and let it marinate, a’ight?

Random accusations included pissing on trail (as Knave took a piss with his back to the circle) and a bra that was passed around like Cinderella’s glass slipper, but alas, it did not fit Mexican Gum Job’s boobies. Maybe her prince will cum next week! Of course it’s not a Voodoo unless the cops show up; in this case, a security guard from Delgado who was pretty amicable and actually let us get through all 500 verses of “Up Jumped the Monkey” (thanks, Spread ‘Em!) and “Swing Low” before we disbanded.

My new year’s resolution was to detox before Mardi Gras, but that still didn’t stop me from doing some cham-pan-ya down-downs, and writing a shitty hash trash when I got home.

on-on wankers,
Swamp Gravy

Our defacto RA for the night, Just Terry (who admitted his nickname was Tea Bag), was pretty awesome at letting us break most of the rules of laser tag:

No Climbing
No running
No foul language
No hitting
No Butt Sex

Red Team basically dominated the shit out of Blue Team all night. If you were on blue team, you suck almost as much as blue balls.

Then we made a switch to free-for-all. Every hasher for himself. Which was fun once everyone realized we weren’t playing on teams anymore. This is when Ass Burgler turned into a laser-mutilating machine and pwnt the shit out of everyone in the course. Seriously. I only got hit more by Princess LayYa, who would hide in a fucking corner all night like a tiny honey badger with an AK47. Some wanker climbed up on a block and looked like an idiot when I tagged him every lap around the place, but Honkey Dong wins the “don’t give a shit” award for playing an entire round with gun in one hand, and drink in the other. Whoever was sniping from up top the observation area– you still didn’t win, even cheating. It was fun to watch though. Cumless somehow won almost every round. Probably due to her cheating with a sweatband over her gun so that she could shoot with one and smack hoes with the other (I had her other sweatband but I always lost so it wasn’t cheating when I used one.)

By the way, what the hell was the deal with the bases? I don’t think anyone figured it out, but fuck blue team’s base. You guys sucked so hard, your base went down faster than Last Action Queero on Justin Bieber. Speaking of which, wtf ever happened to Glitter Spitter? Maybe he wouldn’t have quit if we’d named him Glam Guzzler. My bad.

Bumper cars were had, and we had an epic 3 car pileup. Yes, hashers managed to crash bumper cars, like the bunch of fuckwits they are. Then Dickie Wong was trying to give a handjob to someone in a neighboring car and got his good masturbation hand all messed up. Don’t worry, Spoontang has volunteered to dry-hump him until he recovers.

Dance Dance Revolution was also present, for our more rhythm-minded laser taggers, and Just Sean and little brother Just Michael enjoyed bouncing their balls into each other’s holes to win enough tickets for YuGiOh cards. Oh my.

Then ButtSex ripped off my elf ears like a dick. Then I had to explain why I wasn’t wearing them anymore, which was infinitely more awkward than telling people why I was wearing them to begin with.

All in all, I’m proud we didn’t get 86′d from the joint entirely. Mad props to Cumless for setting things up, and look forward to more inappropriate hash socials in the future!

Run up those credit cards by buying me expensive, never ending, hash beer! Run because you don’t want your corpse to look like shit in 2013! Sing a high note just because your fellow hashers want to see you “O” face. If you thought hurricane parties were fun, wait till you cum to this week’s hash! It’s time to celebrate like it’s the end of the world!

on-on,
Everything Butt Sex

P.S. I know it sounds scary but you don’t need to worry. Butt Sex will help you make it through these rough times!

Date: Thursday, January 5th, 2012
Theme: Party, New Year, Hats, blowers, Cham-pain-ya, Undead
Start: 3439 Esplanade Avenue, New Orleans, LA. The Cemetary
Time: 6:30pm show, 7:00pm go
Hares: Everything Butt Sex & Jefferson Starfish
Cost: $1 (no coins plz) and 6 EXPENSIVE HASH BEERS (or that high life shit)
Bring: Whistle, flashlight, crucifix.

So, if you’ve got a bunch of boring shirts, hoodies, etc. that you want to swankify with the Voodoo logo, gather ‘em up and bring them to me at the hash, starting this week. For a fee of $5, you can have the Voodoo Hash logo screened on as many pieces of clothing as you wish. Yes, you need to pay when you give me your shirts. I can’t guarantee that I will have change for you, so don’t expect me to break a $20.

When you do bring your shirts, please do me a favor, and put a piece of tape on the side (front or back) that you want to have screened. For the time being, we’re going to go with BLACK ink on light colored shirts, or WHITE ink on dark colored shirts. Once I figure out how cost-effective the printing is, I’m hoping to offer multi-color designs for the same low price.

Since the new art hasn’t been finalized yet, the first printing will be the original logo that’s on all our existing haberdashery.

On-on,
Swamp Gravy

PS – I am NOT the official haberdasher. Don’t ask me about shiggy socks. lol