The run took us up through Metairie and our hares lead us through a bunch of un-chartered territory last night. For our semi-virgin hares it was a semi-decent lay. But like any virgin, they’ll get better with practice.

The trail was fairly straight although Fillet Me Lay Me brought out a little gay as he frolicked down the street asking the best way to get to OZ. Filet Me Lay Me’s significant other, Grand Opening was slightly disappointed in his sudden interest in the same sex so she found some other balls on trail she could play with:

At BN, Lick A Lotta Cock showed up with her pussy and was offering to let people pet it and the jokes just kept cumming:

Dickie: “Your pussy was much hairier than I remember”

Baby Facial: “I wanna pet your pussy!”

Dickie:  “I’m highly allergic to your pussy”

As we headed off from BN we were greeted with a sea of cars as we tried to cross Vets and I.M.E. got called a bitch by some oh so friendly drivers. The hares then took us through Clearview Mall….through a Mall?! You can’t run through a mall? Sure you can! Just don’t get caught, and don’t bring your dog or they’ll call animal control on your ass, Puppy Love Machine. I’m pretty sure Princess Lay-less’ Risky Business costume left some mall patrons scarred for life:

Dickie Wongstockings led circle and like his trail, circle ended up semi-decent. Everyone seemed to be all about the three-somes last night with Three Hares, Three Virgins and Three FRB’s: I.M.E., Fillet Me Lay Me, and Orgasmic Matter. One Eyed Jack Off got so lost he CAME almost thirty minutes after everyone else did and got the title of DFL. Enough Already got called into circle for well being Enough Already and one of the virgin’s won best costume with an authentic Member’s Only Jacket which he found goodwill for $15. At the end of circle, Tidy Bowl and Chicken Pot Guy got into a lovers quarrel and Tidy had to choke his Chicken in order to get off:

Next week’s trail will be representing the Black and BOLD with our hares Dickie Wongstockings and Tidy Bowl Man. So CUM out to Jackson’s Square in Saint’s gear and wear a bold color and don’t worry Wankers, Dickie promises you won’t miss your precious football season opener. And if you do something stupid, which is pretty much guaranteed, you Wankers might even end up on TV.

On On,

8 Lays A Week

We’re meeting in the giant field behind Sake Cafe and Houston’s. Before that, we’re pre-lubing at the daiquiri shop next door. Get your Chuck Taylor’s and remember to pump your high tops before trail this week. It’ll be a thriller.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex.

Hares: Everything Butt Sex, BabyFacial (Born again Virgin Lay), Princess Lay-ya (Virgin Lay)
Theme: 80s
Location: Behind the Mall (Sake Cafe). 4201 Veterans Blvd. Metairie, LA, 70006
Time: Thursday, September 2nd. 6:30pm Show. 7pm Go!
Pre-Lube: The Daiquiri shop in the parking lot behind Houston’s (Houma and Vets).

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

So last night Wax On Whacks Off and Just Aaron “Eyes up here” took us on a long predictably lay through Mid City and City Park area. I’m pretty sure Whacks off laid a similar trail on his virgin lay not tooo long ago if I remember correctly, that cemetery looked verrry familiar…. but with 8 lays a week who can remember anymore. Only complaint heard was that Chum and Dickie wanted more Rugby Girls on Trail. Boys, those Rugby girls are more manly than you two could ever be. Fill Me Up finally found Beer Near and was rewarded with Jell-O Shots after following a false BN that wasn’t laid by our hares and didn’t lead to any beer! What! No Beer! That should be illegal!

Some shortcutting Wankers tried to get a jump start on trail after BN and got caught. For punishment, Pastor Bait-Her made BrokeBack Dyke experience I.M.E. in ways only he can dream of. BrokeBack Dyke must love doing Down-Downs because like a bad case of herpes, he just couldn’t stay away. Not only did he get called out for FRB with TWOT but they also got called out for stealing hash beer after last week’s trail. Don’t mess with our beer or you’ll suffer the consequences.

Fill Me Up called Pastor into circle for losing his Happy Coat back in March! It has made its way to Texas and who knows where else since going M.I.A. Who’s got pictures?

Congratulations to Just Aaron for finally getting named “Eyes Up Here” after the tons of stupid shit this Wanker has pulled. He’s a hasher, he’s true blue. He’s a hasher through and through.

Next week Everything Butt Sex, Baby Facial and Princess Lay-Ya are taking us on a time warp back to the 80’s which apparently can be found in Metairie behind Chili’s. Who knew? So break out those side ponytails, legwarmers, and sweatbands and get your beer drinking asses out to Metairie! Maybe next week Puppy Love Machine won’t forget the ice chests.

On-On,
8 Lays a week

Reminders:
· Skin Whistle and Dry Hole’s Wedding Hash on Sept 16th
· September 18th is Gulf Coast H3 500th hash. (Mobile, AL) gch3.org
· October 1-3 is the Texas Crab Hash texascrabhash.com

ON-ON,
Just Aaron

Hares: Just Aaron, Wax on Whacks off
Theme: Bare essentials
Location: Canal St & N St Patrick St New Orleans, LA 70119 (Mid City)
Time: Thursday, August 26th. 6:30pm Show. 7pm Go!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

View Larger Map

For baby jebus sakes, some of you have been hashing for a god damn year. It’s ten fucking words. The song goes like this: ”Roll her over, oh so softly. Gently in the grass…”  Use the Googles for something other than wanking off if you’re still confused.

If you missed last night, not only did you miss a cluster-fuck of songs, you missed a flurry of dilapidated red clothing running through and around Lake Vista. The one exception would be Lick a lotta Cock beer haring in an all white dress. Like all good TWOT, the run was short and fun. The hares lead us around and INTO Lake Ponchartrain. It is amazing how when you wade through water no one gets called out for peeing on trail.

Speaking of circle. We upped our police count again. After we explained to the officers that there was only one colored guy in a group of thirty, they left us alone. Since a group of us were already handcuffed, there was no real reason for them to be there anyway. Tidy helped with interference from the 5-0 while the rest of us sang Cum-bay-ah. Eventually the officers left us alone to go stop other evil doers elsewhere in the city. Most importantly, we’re booting off Just Andrianna to Pensacola as the newly named Top Cum.

A special congratulations to TidyBowlMan. With the help of BrokeBack Dyke, he finally found out how to lay his car’s back seat down. It is a pretty helpful skill when you lock your keys in your trunk or if you’re in the Audubon Zoo parking lot with Top Cum.

On a completely unrelated note: Can we rename Princess Lay-less to Praise Beerus?

Cum hashing next week as Wax on Whacks off and Just Aaron lay a shitty trail through Mid-City. That is, if Just Aaron doesn’t call me up saying he just agrees to shit while drunk and can’t follow through while sober again.

ON-ON,
Everything Butt Sex

Things to know:

• Fill Me Up has 3 Voodoo Robes left from the Anal Cumming together. They are $20.
• Yes. For the fucking 100th time Pastor is back.
• September 18th is Gulf Coast H3 500th hash. (Mobile, AL) http://gch3.org/wordpress/?page_id=92
• October 1-3 is the Texas Crab Hash http://www.texascrabhash.com/
• Let me know if you are interested in being a song Mister or Mistress
• Same goes for writing Hash Trash

Hares: TWOT, BrokeBackDyke
Theme: Anything from Red Dress Event or dirty clothes that haven’t been laundered so your pajamas will suffice
Location: Paris Ave & Lakeshore Dr.
Time: Thursday, August 18th. 6:30pm Show. 7pm Go!

Wet Bitch Friendly (For you 8 Lay a Week)
Shiggy Trail – Bring Bug Spray Don’t wear your new shoes (You know why)
Don’t worry about the Teeny hash mark…it’ll be humongous.

On On,
Teeny Weeny On Top

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

Helping to prepare you for Saturday’s red sea of insanity, your hares Fill Me Up and T.W.O.T. will be taking you on a run through the Marigny!

Meet-up is at Washington Square – on the neutral ground (median for you wankers) on Elysian Fields, 6:30, and the hares will take off at 7.

We WILL be stopping at several bars, so make sure you clowns bring some cash for the bar stops! You still need to bring your $1 and a six-pack

I think there’s something I’m forgetting … what could it be… OH YEAH!

WEAR A RED SKIRT or you’re not fucking running and we get to keep your beer!

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

Cho Penis, our most recent import from Cali, wants to celebrate his Wednesday birthday by haring for us on Thursday. So, to return the favor, we are going to have a clown themed party for him. The kid loves clowns, dont hate, fornicate. This is real deal folks, I want giant red noses, 80 color wigs and size 44 shaq style shoes on trail. Youre all a bunch of clowns anyway, so let it out.

Theme: Clown Party

Hares: Cho Penis (Voodoo Virgin Lay!), Dickie Wong (Navigation Team)
Start: public park at Prytania and Pleasant
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00 GO!
Prelube: Prytania Cafe, cheap drinks!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

On top of the usual 6 pack and $1, the hares want everyone to bring a gift for a white elephant game. Anything from alcohol to anal beads should suffice for the hash. Fuck, we’ll even enjoy one of those joke calendars from Spencer’s. Can we end the hash at Mr. Binky’s for the 1% who doesn’t bring a gift? I heard 8 lays a week is in the market for a dildo. If not, let’s just hope for this Hashmas, we don’t get a shitty fucking trail.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is dead.

Theme: Christmas in July.
Hares: TidyBowlMan, Bumbletard (Virgin Lay!), Just Aaron (Virgin Lay!)
Start: Napa Auto Parts, 500 Shrewsbury Rd Jefferson, LA 70121-3530
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!

All these goals might be asking to much of us.  Quite frankly, we don’t give a fuck. It’s our day, and we’re leading you wanking sausages through Lakeview. We’re changing shit up. The first part of trail is one mile. We don’t have any god damn checks, shitty whichys, fucking YBFs or even a beautiful beer near.

We know what you’re thinking. Holy wanking day batman! No beer near? That is sacrilegious! How can we have a hash without a beer near? Well hashers we’re upgrading the beer near to a pool near! Leave the electronics and wallets at home. This week’s theme requires a bathing suit or a birthday suit! Either way kiddos, it’s our birthday and we don’t plan on leaving until every last hasher is nice and wet.

On-On,
Everything Butt Sex

P.S. Join us for an on after and help us not remember a bunch of decisions we’ll regret the next day. It’s our birthday!

P.S.S. Next week’s theme is Christmas in July. TidyBowlMan, Bumbletard,  and Just Aaron wants everyone to bring a gift for that White Elephant game, or whatever it is ya’ll call it.

Theme: Happy Birthday! Birthday suit or bathing suit.
Hares: Lick A Lotta Cock (Virgin Lay), BabyFacial (Virgin Lay) and Everything Butt Sex
Start: Lakeshore Dr.
Time: 6:30 show / 7:00pm GO!

Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer then why are you even coming? If you don’t bring beer, then you pay $10 and you GET NO BEER!