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Happy New Year! You have a clean slate to sully up for 2012, so gear up hashers, since we have a full year of tampons-up-the-butt ahead of us.

First off, Jizz Rag is a terrible pace booty. White Girl Wasted fell on her booty 3 minutes into this trail.

Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish laid some terrible trail all along the Bayou last night. I hit not one, but two YBFs, and had to use technology to find out we were at least 1.5 miles from the first BN anyway. At the Mortuary!? I’ve never been so DFL in my life. We did enjoy watching a guy run sideways on a treadmill, who stopped as soon as we ran by and he realized he looked like a fool in the gym.

Half of the runners gave up on the second half of the trail when we ran into the walkers, and then we desecrated a couple of graves. Ass Burgler was accused of trail-pissing. Someone took a piss in circle. Voodoo Hash might have some bad juju coming its way, especially with Just Nkule taking photo-ops on fresh grave plots.

Circle produced one of the most interesting virgin sacrifices I’ve ever seen: Knave provided some lovely wine-soaked tampons for the poor bastard to suck on. He was nearly named Just Dirty Cotton Mouth after he threw it on the ground. Hashers not trashers, people. Tidy Bowl Man also presented us with Just Sean’s Lucidore mask and a 34A bra that apparently did not fit on Mexican Gum Job’s lovely rack. If you missed the flash, there’s plenty of free porn on the internet, but nothing beats beating it to a live show. Accusations were otherwise uneventful; we need to start acting up a bit more on trail to make circle interesting for the darn cold weather. Gum Job also got her 10 run candle this week, and Cock a Booty Boo also presented a few gris gris. We then got a guest performance from Spread ‘Em of monkey madness proportions.

On-After was generally quite tame, though I left early so who knows. A Lil Prick was all about buying Tin Roof’s Voodoo Beer, there was a live band in the back, and I realized that I wear bigger shoes than Tidy. Also, Bayou Beer Garden serves a damn good burger.

The end, until next time!
Just Rachel

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To celebrate the ringing in of 2012, Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish led us on a glorious re-hash (pun intended) of quite a few of 2011′s most memorable trails. We started off by the St. Louis Cemetery, and from there began a long series of deja vu moments for me. The first was crossing that damn bridge over Bayou St. John, I had flashbacks of the 200th trail. There were 3 marks after a YBF, which reminded me of the last White Girl Wasted / Reverse Cowboy trail. When we passed the bike shop, for a second I thought we were running that same Bumbletard 7-mile death march. Of course there was a good bit of gravel, which never fails to remind me of the trail Slam Bam Thank You Lamb/No Cunt Troll hared, where I broke in my brand new Vibram Five Fingers by running down train tracks for 2 fucking miles. There was another area we ran through that I know we had a beer stop at once before, I think last February, but too much alcohol has killed the brain cells that once held those memories. Too bad we didn’t end up lost by the river in waist-high “bog”, ’cause it would have nicely rounded out the evening.

We had virgins as FRB’s, so a lot of checks were kicked wrong or not kicked at all. I think these guys must have been given chalk talk by I.M.E. One time I shouted “RU?” and one of them, I swear to god, yelled “Yahtzee!”

After crossing Canal St. for the 669th time, we finally reached the beer stop. As we stood around and the minutes passed, a few of us noted that about 2/3 of the pack was missing. Slowly, they trickled in. A few people cited lack of flour. Which I knew was a false accusation, because the blobs I saw were like white elephant turds, practically incandescent in the street lamps. (Some of y’all need to TAKE NOTE and learn how to throw down flour, it ain’t like dusting a cupcake… but I digress.) Butt Sex reveals that they did not fully scout trail, and ended up running into a fence. “Didn’t you see the true trail arrow? it was on a wooden pallet so I could turn it in the direction that trail was actually going.” Yeah… nope. Eventually the stragglers showed up, and we could continue on.

Second half of trail was short. As usual, the FRB’s find true trail and neglect to kick the checks/whichy’s or blow whistles or really make any fucking sounds whatsoever. After running through Greenwood Cemetery (a severe lack of zombies on this Tour-de-Every Goddamn Cemetery in Mid-city) we ended up at on-in by yet another motherfucking cemetery, near Delgado. Halfway through circle, Chum Dumpster arrives in a car, looking rather triumphant for being DFL. Turns out this overachieving bastard ran all the way to City Park and stumbled upon Spread ‘Em, who was car-hashing. They had to navigate to the end following the sounds of our songs echoing through the neighborhood.

P.S. Knave, for God only knows what reason (and I’m sure God Herself doesn’t even want to know) brought tampons soaked in alcohol. One of the virgins– whose name escapes me but I’m bad with names ANYWAY– walked into circle and immediately dropped his pants (I guess he heard there was gonna be Butt Sex on this trail) then did a down-down by sucking the alcohol out of said tampon. When called back into circle, he voluntarily did it AGAIN. Y’all keep the name ‘Cottonmouth’ in your memory holes and let it marinate, a’ight?

Random accusations included pissing on trail (as Knave took a piss with his back to the circle) and a bra that was passed around like Cinderella’s glass slipper, but alas, it did not fit Mexican Gum Job’s boobies. Maybe her prince will cum next week! Of course it’s not a Voodoo unless the cops show up; in this case, a security guard from Delgado who was pretty amicable and actually let us get through all 500 verses of “Up Jumped the Monkey” (thanks, Spread ‘Em!) and “Swing Low” before we disbanded.

My new year’s resolution was to detox before Mardi Gras, but that still didn’t stop me from doing some cham-pan-ya down-downs, and writing a shitty hash trash when I got home.

on-on wankers,
Swamp Gravy

Our defacto RA for the night, Just Terry (who admitted his nickname was Tea Bag), was pretty awesome at letting us break most of the rules of laser tag:

No Climbing
No running
No foul language
No hitting
No Butt Sex

Red Team basically dominated the shit out of Blue Team all night. If you were on blue team, you suck almost as much as blue balls.

Then we made a switch to free-for-all. Every hasher for himself. Which was fun once everyone realized we weren’t playing on teams anymore. This is when Ass Burgler turned into a laser-mutilating machine and pwnt the shit out of everyone in the course. Seriously. I only got hit more by Princess LayYa, who would hide in a fucking corner all night like a tiny honey badger with an AK47. Some wanker climbed up on a block and looked like an idiot when I tagged him every lap around the place, but Honkey Dong wins the “don’t give a shit” award for playing an entire round with gun in one hand, and drink in the other. Whoever was sniping from up top the observation area– you still didn’t win, even cheating. It was fun to watch though. Cumless somehow won almost every round. Probably due to her cheating with a sweatband over her gun so that she could shoot with one and smack hoes with the other (I had her other sweatband but I always lost so it wasn’t cheating when I used one.)

By the way, what the hell was the deal with the bases? I don’t think anyone figured it out, but fuck blue team’s base. You guys sucked so hard, your base went down faster than Last Action Queero on Justin Bieber. Speaking of which, wtf ever happened to Glitter Spitter? Maybe he wouldn’t have quit if we’d named him Glam Guzzler. My bad.

Bumper cars were had, and we had an epic 3 car pileup. Yes, hashers managed to crash bumper cars, like the bunch of fuckwits they are. Then Dickie Wong was trying to give a handjob to someone in a neighboring car and got his good masturbation hand all messed up. Don’t worry, Spoontang has volunteered to dry-hump him until he recovers.

Dance Dance Revolution was also present, for our more rhythm-minded laser taggers, and Just Sean and little brother Just Michael enjoyed bouncing their balls into each other’s holes to win enough tickets for YuGiOh cards. Oh my.

Then ButtSex ripped off my elf ears like a dick. Then I had to explain why I wasn’t wearing them anymore, which was infinitely more awkward than telling people why I was wearing them to begin with.

All in all, I’m proud we didn’t get 86′d from the joint entirely. Mad props to Cumless for setting things up, and look forward to more inappropriate hash socials in the future!

- 1300 something hashers (of the 1500 originally rego’d), thus far the biggest IAH yet! The male/female ratio was about even, and over 50% were hashers above the age of 50. You’re never too old to hash!
- 200 kegs PLUS 100 something additional cases of beer (and I heard most of it was left un-drank! Slackers!)
- 20 different trails to choose from
- Opening/closing ceremonies and nightly debauchery on the field of Grayson Stadium
- Dinner at the stadium, including BBQ and a low country boil
- Two hashpitality suites open around the clock (except for 5am on Friday, which is when Chum Dumpster, Everything Butt Sex, Mexican Gum Job, and I arrived after our long-ass drive from New Orleans.)
- A ‘clothing optional’ pool at the Doubletree
- Impromptu daiquiri trail Sunday morning at Wet Willie’s. Oh wait, there were only 4 of us…
- Butt Sex losing his Vibrams in the shiggy and running the Carolina Trash trail barefoot
- 90 something hashers at the Jacksonville trail forming a giant “tunnel” by reaching out their arms, and making all the tourists walk through it as they got off the ferry
- The most brilliant dice game ever. “SOCIAL!!!”
- The traveling statue of Jack Daniel (he even has his own Facebook page!)
- Drunken kickball at the stadium
- Saturday night cotillion with everybody in their Southern finery
- Tequila Cockingbird from Portland winning Ms. IAH, with a FUCKING AWESOME hash song to the tune of “Bust a Move”
- Fahrfromfucken from the Trash winning Mr. IAH by… I dunno, being Fahr. Runner up was some guy who did a butt chug off his own ass.
- Surly Temple and Mo Ho from Atlanta getting MARRIED on stage at the stadium. The ceremony was officiated by Lost & Fucked (also from Atlanta), dressed as Elvis. Their vows included “this ring is a symbol that your cock/pussy belongs to me”. Awww, how romantic.
- Did I mention naked people in the pool?
- And probably some more stuff I forgot

And we missed YOU!

So as I mentioned in this week’s trail announcement: IAH 2013 will be held over Labor Day weekend in Panama! Yes, you will need your passport for this one! For more information or to rego, visit IAH2013.com. Cost is $169 ’til the end of October, and it only goes up from there. Hope to see you in 2013!

One thing I noticed is Voodoo doesn’t have a walking trail, but multiple over achievers showed up in walking cast. Apparently, one too many people are strapping themselves into the sex swing wrong. Proper use will be demonstrated at Interhash next week, at the Best Western! Before I start with the calendar I wanted to send out congratulations to our newest named hashers, Fist and Release, and Mexican Gum Job.

Random Idea:
Anyone going to Voodoo Fest? You should do a hash on the fair grounds. I’m sure we’ll have visiting hashers from all over that weekend. Set it up, we’ll announce it!

Texas Hold ‘em Fundraiser for Chopenis
http://www.socializr.com/event/142298693/1272725225
Friday, Oct 21, 2011 (7:00 PM) at The Brady’s 5908 Garfield St., New Orleans, LA
It’s a $75 buy in, 43 people are signed up so far. Sign up to help Chopenis and win some cash.

Girls on the run Fundraiser
Let’s face it, we all love female runners. Something great about a random chick cumming at you with a pony tail, sports bra, and running shorts. Support that shit. October 19th, Reginelli’s is going to donate a percentage of all sales from all stores all day.

InterAmerica’s Hash
Just the most fun you can have on two legs, your back, up against a wall, in public, in a corner, in a pool, and other various locations and positions in Georgia. If you don’t already have a rego, sorry it’s sold out.

Black Dress Run
Voodoo Tradition, It’s on All Saints day. Black Dress Required. No Black Dress, no hash!

New Orleans H3 moved to Saturdays at 2pm.
New Orleans H3

Another link to Swamp Gravy’s Hash Hymnal
http://sarahbolton.net/misc/hashhymnal.pdf

Last thing I Promise
If you are only checking facebook for updates, chances are you may be missing out. Sign up for our mailing list at voodoo.hash@gmail.com. Use Facebook for hash banter, links, and all the other random crap in your lives. If you are a redditor, check out reddit.com/r/hashhouseharriers

Really, the last thing I Promise
If you have something you want to put on our calendar, and e-mailed to everyone, the best way is to email voodoo.hash@gmail.com. At the end of circle, a lot of people are buzzed and busy trying to spoon some random hasher. Please try to limit it hasher type things. Sex, drinking and running events are always welcome. I love pictures of random naked chicks in the e-mail box too.

Thanks for reading assholes! See ya’ll during or after Interhash.

on-on,
Everything Butt Sex

Thanks be given to the man who delivered the BEER!!! TIDY BOWL MAN!!!!!!  And to Slam Bam, for helping bring the extra wood (like he has a problem with extra wood), and staying late helping to pick up the extra trash at the end of the event.

What can be said to the woman who went out of her way to ensure we had appropriate space to get drunk, be obnoxious, scream all night, and well, just be plain rude and naked?  THANK YOU VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, MUCH COCK-A-BOOTY BOO!!!!!!!! Hopefully, we be able to utilize the property again in the future.  Thanks to those who tried to abide by the rules.  Your cooperation does not go unnoticed.

I also want to thank the strong, hot hashers with an abundance of muscles, who helped move benches, tables, and well anything else that required heavy lifting.  Thanks Cock Jaw, Just Dayne, Cold Wet Douche, Mr. Awesome #1 and #2, Game Ovary, Slam Bam, Chum, and EBS.  P.O.S. Knave, thanks for standing around giggling with your belly hanging out, and oh yeah, your butt crack dimple. Eeewwwwww!

Lastly, thanks to Pastor Bait Her and Utterly for all their help with the designs and all the small things that go unnoticed by most.  Without you guys, we would have some crappy logos and highly uncreative ideas that come to fruition.  WHHOOOOOORRRRRE!

If you missed this year’s event, too bad for you.  There was way too much beer pong, I learned my lesson with the warm weather and beer amounts for games, too much late night fire jumping, too many three legged hashes, way too much nudity and glow sticks, way too much AWESOMENESS, and too many namings, again.  Thanks to Cock-a-Booty for writing them all down.  Some need to be worked on further though.

Hopefully, next year will be even more spectacular and will probably have to be limited in numbers due to limited real estate.  If you have any complaints or criticisms, please e-mail me @ ononfrb@hotmail.com.  I really do appreciate all the input to help make the next event better.

OH YEAH, Thanks to the powers that are bigger than any of us for NOT RAINING.  After three straight years of cold and rain, I really enjoyed packing up a dry tent for once.  See you guys Thursday.

Your High Priestess,
Fill Me Up

We took the cop’s advice and hashed 13 extra blocks, moving us from 11th crappy ass Ward to the 10th. What we found out is that the 10th Ward (i.e. district for you foreigners) is rather a good spot to host a bunch of overgrown children who likes to dress up and be obnoxious without buzzkill interruptions.

Circle went on forever last night, and it was awesome, however RA BB Dyke should learn how to use people’s hash names instead of their nerd names. He was pretty smashed towards the end. Ziggy Zaggy! Ziggy Zaggy! Oy! Oy! Oy! We had visitors from Biloxi and California. We learned about wallflowers. We had virgin asses. We had a caking. We found out which newly named harrierette has the hots for Just Matilde. We appointed a new Hare Raiser. We gave our FRB (Front Running Bastard) a new trophy. We had one harrierette ball gagged and on her knees. We had a last minute visitor who stuck around and danced in the circle before Cock-a-Booty Boo showed him the pimp hand. We also had 3 awesome namings! 2 at circle and 1 at on after.

Our new hare raiser is Eyes Up Here! If you want to hare a hash, get with him!

Lick’s Em Young has a new Trophy he must carry during every hash until someone beats his racist ass.

From hence forth, Just Divya is now known as The Black Labia; Just Casey is now known as Under his Erection; and Just Leah is now known as Fried Chicken Snatch.

A special shout out to Just Lua finally getting named to Delayed Gratification last week.

Back to circle. Did anyone see Lick A Lotta Cock last night? That bitch wouldn’t shut up during circle, so it was my pleasure to shove one of my balls in her mouth. She told me later that she kind of liked it, but needs me to build up and prepare her for it next time. Also, last night I learned I do love gagging a harrierette while she’s on her knees.

Let’s talk about the birthday slut, 8 Lays a week. She quickly happily dropped down to her knees while 30 people surrounded her, eager to make her look like the star of bukkake video. For anyone who has forgotten, what doesn’t go in you, goes on you! With that I wish her one more very Happy birthday and Fuck you!

Here is a picture of the next round of “Just” in the group. Start cumming up with names for this crew you fucking wankers.

With all of this going on I should talk a little bit about trail.

We had a special Lucky Charm check. A few hashers stood in line and thought they were going to get lucky. Unfortunately, the only harrierette that would pair up in our little flour colored clover was Batteries Not Included. In almost two years I haven’t seen hashers run so fast

I take that back. I have seen hashers run that face. It happened every time T.W.O.T would scream YBF or on left from the back of the pack for no apparent reason. How do you make a clusterfuck more confusing? Add a tiny little french-asian.

A little reward happened for some short cutting bastards last night. We zigged left at a YBF, and we saw No Cunt-Troll drinkin’ it up for St. Patrick’s day. She screamed, “BEER NEAR” so all the hashers turned around. She emerged from her humble abode with some coconut flavored mixed drink and poured several shots into hashers mouths from her balcony.

On after was held at 8 Lay’s crib. Whoever went to Tracey’s was misinformed since you all missed the third best thing of T.W.O.T.s you could put in your mouth…her cabbages. (the other two things taste asian) She’s like Irish lo mein.

On-On from your bottom loving duo,
Everything Butt Sex & T.W.O.T.

The hares took off after beer near or should I say strolled off….Yea, I saw you bitches walking. Maybe No Cunt Troll was trying to keep Slam Bam on a short leash this half since we were so near the zoo, baaaaahhhhhhhhh

Second half was almost as short as Tidy Bowl, and we strolled on into ON-IN at the Pinkberry on Magazine. Pastor Bait-Her opened up circle and we welcomed some red-neck virgins from Mississippi to the Voodoo… Hope these Wankers enjoyed their virgin lay, I’m sure coming from small-ass bum fuck Moss Point, MS it’s like a whole new world over here in the Big City. Even though circle was interrupted by some dick-sucking 28-year old “landlord” who wanted to show everyone how big his dick was by calling the cops on us, we were able to get out a Naming! Just Sara will from here on out now be referred to as Dick’s a Flava (no “h” because she’s h-less)

Here’s to Dick’s she’s true blue
She’s a hasher through and through

Don’t forget to sign up for the Campout you lazy wankers! Trust me you don’t want to miss this EPIC event.

On-On Bitches,

8 Lays A Week

Ok so it appears that some out of town hashers are planning a social for us locals on Friday 02/11/2011 to toast to “G’s” memory in Jackson Square, 7:30pm. Meet at Turtle Bay around 6pm. From there they will go to Cafe Pontalba for 7:30pm for the toast.

Social 6pm. Turtle Bay on Decatur. Then Toast to “G” 7:30pm Cafe Pontalba Jackson Square.
Fri, February 11, 6pm – 9pm
Where
6pm Turtle Bay 1119 Decatur Street. 7:30pm Cafe Pontalba/Jackson Square.

NOH3 needs volunteers for the two water stations for the Rock N Roll marathon. Meet at Sunday 7am, Esplanade and N. Derbigny. Red Dress is mandatory!!! Food, beer, music will be provided for volunteers only, you greedy lazy bastards.

Princess Bunk Bunk Whooooops

The trail was cold, wet, and douchey. So we all know what it felt like to be Cold Wet Douche, who in fact was sick and still made it out one of shiggiest trail laid by hares, Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish. There’s no excuse for the lame hashers who whined about the cold and stayed home.  The weather was in the low 30s with icy winds that felt like a million knife cuts and with sleet to follow.  The trail felt like we were preparing for Warrior Dash minus the fire jumping part. Let me mentally paint this picture for you of what took place. We were greeted with a 10 foot drop from a muddy cliff and once we hopped down uninjured, the journey got intense.  We cursed when we got caught in thorny paths, cursed when we fell (I did at least), cursed when we had to plow through the trail with our 5lbs of mud caked on our shoes, cursed when we almost lost our shoe, cursed when we had to one by one scale a fence to cross over a mini ravine, cursed when we were caught in barbwires, cursed that we had to crawl under fence, cursed when it started raining and cursed when we couldn’t find trail. We would curse more at Everything Butt Sex if he made us crawl through a rank sewer if Starfish didn’t talk him out of it.  When it was all over and the incessant cursing ceased, realization sets in.  It was one of the most challenging and rewarding hashes to encounter (with the exception of the Lake P swim which only one person and two hares completed).  Shiggy trail are few and far between these days since we don’t really have much of a terrain except for obstacles like New Orleans’ potholes and vehicles.  Future hares, we dare you to get creative and make sure it’s legal…(a’hem, Zombieland) By the way, Starfish and EBS finally got all of us wet. Great teamwork. On after got moved to Parlay’s and got interesting as some hashers found the diva in them at karaoke night. Oh and this is Eyes Up Here’s idea of representing Wu Tang Clan. Is that a W or a heart?

On-On,

TWOT

Eyes Up Here is a Care Bear!

Look it's TidyBowlMan on her back!

Great job on the hash, Princess Lay Ya (Chocolate Dick) and Game Ovaries, for running us ragged through the Warehouse District, French Quarter, Marigny and almost Algiers (for the idiots who lingered and wondered if they should hop the ferry). I mean I never heard more hashers telling me that a night with you two would make them feel sooo sore.  Score! We definitely loved the Pac Man true trail, although it would have been cooler if you laid cherries or dead ghost for the taking.  Circle was interesting as we had a bigger turn out in the end thanks to auto hashers and latecummers. Special nod to Batteries Not Included for bringing this special character, Milton, to join us at Circle. Milton is running across country to raise money for a organization in Africa. He’s completed 1/3 of the journey as he stops in New Orleans. Hats off to you, overachiever! Check out his website to see Batteries and Just Dana featured in www.100daysofmadness.com and  the charity he’s busting ass for on www.ecye.org

Comic Con 2011 had nothing on these peeps.

And and THIS GUY here should know better. For the noobs, don’t wear brand new shoes to the hash ever. I promise you it doesn’t taste pleasant. Trust me.

And there was a naming! You can count on Just Dustin to dress up at every themed hash that we’ve had and this past one takes the cake as he’s stole this outfit from his little sister’s closet. Seriously,we’d be impressed if you roller skated that night. This bloke will be surely missed as he leaves for Scottsdale and will arrive there with his very own hash name of…

Final upcumming events and notes:

Be ready for our Annual Camp Out taking place April 1st. Registration is $40 and you can either pay Fill Me Up in cash or go to PayPal. Start looking for tents, roomies…

Bring article of clothing to get Voodoo logo screen printed. $5 per item. Please mark where you want the logo to go and make sure you write your name on it.

This cumming week’s hash is going to feature Everything Butt Sex and Jefferson Starfish. Be ready for a short lived ride of your lives. Stay tuned for details…